Bread and Circuses

http://www.sportsline.com/mlb/story/10145426

(A sunny day in the financial district in Atlanta. It’s 80 degrees outside. A young professional is approached by a man wearing a suit underneath an implausible looking trench coat and sun glasses. He chews on a cigar as he talks.)

(Man in overcoat) "Hey, you. Over here. You’re a sharp dresser, a man about town, but you’re missing something. Braves season tickets. (opening coat to display twenty or so hanging ticket packs). $3,984 for 81 games, right over the dugout. I’ll put you down for two, cause I can tell, you’re a happening guy. Got it going on with the ladies."

(Young man) ‘Aren’t you Skip Caray, sir?’

(Caray) "Keep it down, keep it down. I’m trying to do business here, junior. Respect the suit. Respect…the…suit."

(Young man) ‘Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. It just. That’s alot of money, and I don’t have that kind of cash..’

(Caray) "Who does? Did I say anything about cash? Look, you’re a nice kid. Remind me of myself when I was your age, right before Mr. A made me his lieutenant. You got potential and the Braves like potential. We can get behind you on this thing. Give me a grand now, we finance the rest."

(Young Man) ‘You can do that?’

(Caray) "From your mouth to Schuerholz’s ears. Of course, just don’t spread it around, because my boss, he might not be quite so understanding as me. Capice?"

(Young Man) ‘Well, they did beat the Mets in New York…’

(Caray) "See, I knew it . You’re a good kid, just like my boy Chip. Tried to leave the family and set up for himself in Chicago, but he came back. They always come back. Just sign here and don’t worry about those back pages, it’s just tax information from the State of Georgia or something. I don’t know from it."

(July, in the same park.)

(Young man) I’ll pay it back, honest I will, I was just late on that one payment. Please, make them stop following me. Last night I swear I saw Otis Nixon sat in a car in front of my condo until 2 a.m. That guy gives me the creeps. I had to talk my girl friend out of calling the cops.’

(Caray) "Smart move, kid. It would be a shame if Miss Penelope Evette Leroux Cobb Jeffers of 4987 Peach Oak Park Honeysuckle Lane Drive in Decatur were to be struck by a bat or other flying object the next time you two were sitting in Section 109 seats B13 and B14. Young Mr. Franceour has not quite learned the importance of maintaining a firm grip on the bat handle, and accidents do happen. If you look at your ticket, you’ll see the organization has no liability in these cases. As for Mr. Nixon, I have no knowledge that this individual of whom you speak, who may or may not have formerly been employed by the Atlanta Braves, is even still in the State of Georgia. I will testify to that effect in the event of legal proceedings, which, I might add we would look upon with extreme displeasure."

(Young Man) ‘I’ll get the money’.

(Caray) "Sure, you will kid. By the way, John Smoltz talked to that company in Houston you that offered you a job. Smoltzie and I were thinking you’re at least 10 large away from being ready for that sort of move. You’ll thank me later."

(Young Man) ‘But, the tickets weren’t but $8,000 total.’

(Caray) "You….. will…..thank….me……later."

( August. Skip Carey paces nervously in the 102 degree heat as the young man talks to an old gentleman on a park bench. Nearby Andruw Jones swings a 38 ounce bat. There is no ball field within five miles. In the distance a dog barks.)

(Old man) "Hotter n’ Atlanta, son, hotter’n Hot Lanta. Now, Skippy over there tells me there’s been some misunderstanding about the $19,000 you owe us. Now, we’re just going to walk over nice and easy to that snow cone stand that Mr. Lemke is standing by and you’re going to hand him $10,000 and he’s going to hand you an orange delight and a note for the remaining $14,000. Now, let’s get along, I’m starting to bleach out here in the heat."

(Young Man) "Mr. Cox, I just owed $7,000 to start with and now I’m living in the back seat of my car and Chief Knock-A-Homa keeps tapping on the windows with a tomahawk and I haven’t slept in days and my girlfriend won’t return my calls and my parents don’t understand about the money I’m asking them for and…"

(Cox) "Son, when Soriano is getting his behind whooped in the 8th do I pick up a phone and call you to tell you my troubles? Under the circumstances I think we’ve been more than fair. (puts his arm around younger man). Now, if I just forgot about what you owed us, how would that look? I got Willie Randolph trying to muscle in on our territory already? No siree. That’s not how it works. Why my own best friend, Leo Mazzone, sat beside me on the bench all those years, I couldn’t overlook his debts. You know how he sort of rocked back and forth all the time?

(Young man) "Yes Mr. Cox, sir."

(Cox) "He didn’t used to kid. He didn’t use to. Just sayin. Now, you go buy that freezie thing from Lemke, I’m getting out of here. (Yelling over to Caray). For crying out loud, Skip, get McDowell over here with that darn car. You’re about useless, you know that?"

(September 15, an executive suite overlooking Turner Field. The young man is shoved into a room with a distinguished older African-American man with an engaging smile.)

(Older man) That’s just fine. Just fine. You have a seat over there and we’ll have a nice talk. I do so enjoy meeting the younger generation. Sometimes they don’t understand the sacrifices and trade offs us old folks have made to arrive at our position in life. Sometimes, all they need is just a little talk. Something tells me you’re that kind of kid.

(Younger man) Let me just say, sir, it’s an honor. To think I’d be meeting Hank Aaron. Like I told Mr. Cox and Mr. Caray, I can get another job, and I’ve sold my car, and…

(Aaron) Now, this isn’t that kind of talk. It wouldn’t be a friendly talk if we brought up that $63,000 you owe us. No, I think that can all be worked out.

(Younger man) You don’t know what a relief it is for me for me to hear you say that. Thank you, Mr. Aaron, thank you, I just.

(Aaron reaches under desk and pulls out a bat). "Enough. You know what this is, young Mr. banker? This is your ticket out of debt. It’s 33 inches long, made of fine Kentucky ashe wood, carefully aged. A master craftsman used years of training on a finely balanced lathe to carve it to a shape that would slice through the air at a high rate of speed and drive through any object it struck with explosive force.

Tonight you will pack this in a carry on bag and fly to San Francisco, California. When you arrive you will be met by my Mr. Caray who will ensure that at 10:25 just as a certain gentleman, who is attempting to take from me that which is rightfully mine, gets in a limo you will approach him, striking him on the left arm with sufficient force to cause him grievious injury. Do we understand each other?"

(Younger man) ‘Ye….yes Mr. Aaron.’.

(Aaron) "That’s just fine. Now you run along and if you’d be so kind, please send Mr. Diaz in. He has badly mangled two consecutive bunt attempts, and I may have to send him on a little trip to Baltimore. Thanks for stopping by and you have a nice, nice day.

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