Bread and Circuses

From across my driveway and around the globe it’s….

Some stuff about sports.

Michael Tauiliili, who lead the Atlantic Coast Conference in vowels last season, has been reinstated to the Duke football team. He was arrested earlier this month and charged with assault by pointing a
gun, carrying a concealed weapon, driving while impaired, failing to
stop after an accident and simple assault.

No word from Duke faculty representatives on their progress toward a statement denouncing Tauiliili. Also silent so far, the Durham D.A. and community activists. However, it should be noted that while Durham County has been plagued by lacrosse street gangs, nobody realized until Tauiliili was arrested that Duke still played football. Therefore, the perception of a threat to the campus and surrounding community was much lower.

In a related story, there is still time to join the annual Dudski collegiate bad conduct roto league. The league will use a traditional roto format with 4 NCAA violation and 4 arrest categories. I should point out however, that SEC teams are not eligible after last season’s point shaving scandal. As you may recall, numerous players plead down to lesser possession charges when they clearly could gone for the higher value intent to distribute conviction, thus compromising the purity of the game.

Michael Vick may face additional charges this week from federal prosecutors. Sealed indictments are rumored to contain information linking Vick to the Lindberg kidnapping, the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa, and providing steroids to Barry Bonds. Said one proscecutor, speaking on promise of anonymity, "Now that we have him on the dog fighting charges, he’ll plead to anything to get a shorter sentence and return to football. His lawyers played hard ball with us on the Zodiac murders, but we believe they will provide us a confession that he passed atomic bomb secrets to Julius and Ethel Rosenberg."

The NBA referee’s union today laid 5-1 odds that Tim Donaghy is the only official involved in the recent gambling scandal. They also offered a two foul spread that Shaq would be disqualified from the first regular season game, and announced trifecta bets will be accepted this year on technical fouls on three different members of the same team.

A committee of NFL writers and broadcasters has announced the San Francisco 49ers are no longer the laughing stock of the league. No new laughing stock was immediately announced, although the Cleveland Browns, Washington Redskins, and Jerry Jones toupee are all thought to be in the running.

Johan Santana set a franchise record yesterday striking out 17 Texas Rangers. Ever gracious, Santana thanked Brad WIlkerson, Michael Young, Marlon Byrd, and Gerald Laird who contributed 13 of the K’s. Santana acknowledged this was not something he could ever hope to accomplish against a major league lineup. No clarification of those comments was forthcoming.

Sam Pollack, who built a dynasty in the 60’s and 70’s with the Montreal Canadiens passed away at the age of 81. Ironically, this came just hours after doctors announced that the NHL is no longer breathing on it’s own and is in grave condition in an Ottawa hospital. The league was hospitalized last week after complications set in during what had been thought to be a routine procedure to remove the Nashville Predators.

The Washington Wizards today announced they have Blatche. Physicians will treat it with a topical oinment and the Wizards should be ready to be kicked around by the rest of the league as early as September.

And finally, this from the world of NASCAR. DEI Racing has announced that not only will it not permit Dale Earnhardt, Jr. to take the number 8 with him to Hendrick Motorsports, but it will force him to leave the letters N and D behind as well. A settlement was reached allowing him to take one of the 3 "R’s". Earnhardt will race in 2008 under the name J. Ear Hat Ale and is negotiating a deal with Molson, the Canadian beer giant to distribute himself.

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