Bread and Circuses
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Archive for November, 2007
November 30, 2007 at 7:55 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
Here we go.
The New York Mets had a three time all-star catcher. Paul LoDuca. They were paying him about six and a quarter extra large, which is what I call $6.25 million after I’ve watched too many Sopranos reruns. Capice?
Now LoDuca is a home town guy from Brooklyn but the Mets think they can do better. They can’t, but that’s not the point. The point is LoDuca owns thoroughbred horses and associates with people who bet on horses, and maybe other sporting events, which makes the Mets nervous.
Mind you, the Metropolitans didn’t seem to notice when they had a clubhouse attendant running a steroid pharmacy in their club house, but these days you can’t be too careful about the company you keep.
So Oscar Minaya bids LoDuca a not so fond farewell and sets about finding a replacement.
The catcher the Mets wanted was Yorvit Torrealba. The prospect of having a catcher whose name sounds like you have a mouth full of food was too good to pass up. YT hung that huge two five five with eight dingers and forty-seven ribbies in Rock City last season (which is how I talk after accidently listening to just ten minutes of Rich Rome). Guys like that don’t come by every day. They come along every other day and sometimes twice on Thursday, but that’s neither here nor there.
Torrealba wouldn’t sign for the $14.3 million over 3 years the Mets offered. Instead he held out for a two year, $6.75 million deal with Colorado. This should be enough for him to buy a really good pocket calculator, after which he’ll probably also get a new agent.
Back to square one.
Guillermo Mota didn’t do much to earn his paycheck last season and there is some doubt as to whether he is an example of better pitching through chemistry. Boom, out goes $3.2 million worth of the kind of trouble you don’t need. In comes a catcher, a $3.4 million Johnny Estrada.
For those of you keeping score at home, the Mets are now up $6.3 million and have filled the catcher spot. We’ll assume Mota will be replaced by some $2 million piece of veteran free agent flotsam and jetsam, but New York is still up $4.3 million. Plus, they have a catcher so the ball won’t keep rolling to the back stop every time the Mets pitchers throw the ball. At least most of the time. Estrada also gives the Mets a capable hitter to replace LoDuca.
Still, you have to wonder when someone is traded from Atlanta to Arizona and Arizona to Milwaukee and Milwaukee to the Mets in less time than Michael Vick is probably going to be sentenced to. Me thinks something is rotten in Denmark, (the new Hamlet DVD is out, don’t ask).
In 2007 Estrada had physical problems with his knee, and personality problems with Milwaukee manager Ned Yost. There was a big blowup in the dugout and the Brewers wanted Estrada out bad enough to sign Jason Kendall, which is pretty bad. Kendall took a $9 million pay cut to sign, the market for .242 hitting catchers not being what it once was.
"Johnny adds depth to our catching situation," Minaya said in a statement. "He’s a former All-Star who switch
hits and has hit over .300 three times in his career [counting 2003,
when Estrada had only 36 at-bats and hit .306]."
That’s what Minaya said ten days ago. Here’s what he said today, announcing the acquisition of Nationals catcher Brian Schneider and outfielder Ryan Church in exchange for outfield prospect Lastings Milledge:
"I thought we needed to change it up a little," New York general
manager Omar Minaya said. "Names like Schneider and Church are not
known names, but they give us balance." It is thought the Mets will now drop or trade Estrada, especially since they are paying two catchers $7 million to replace LoDuca, which is the exact amount they couldn’t afford to continue paying him.
Now then. The only way Schneider could start something with a bat in his hand would be if someone gave him another bat and he rubbed them together to start a fire. Milledge is either a sure fire prospect who will be a big star or a head case who will end up working at Big Star. You roll the dice, you take your chances.
Church hit 15-70-.272 in a very big park (RFK stadium) and should be a positive addition for the Mets. But his career best year came at age 28 and his upside may be what we saw in ‘07.
At the of the day, these deals aren’t about getting the Mets players they like. They are about getting rid of two players (LoDuca and Milledge) they didn’t like. And if it took a $7 million trip to the land of a thousand catchers to be rid of them, then so be it.
Take this to the bank (but don’t let them sign you to a flexible mortgage). The Mets now are weaker at catcher, they have a hole in their bullpen you could bury an elephant in, and they let go of maybe the best young outfield prospect in baseball, all in exchange for two broken down catchers and Ryan Church.
What we know about these deals is largely unknown. What is
unknown is knowable, but not immediately. What cannot be known is not
knowable, even by those in the know. We don’t know how many unknown variables are at play.
All I know is I have to stop
watching that "Best of Donald Rumsfeld DVD" I ordered online from
National Review, and the Mets may miss the playoffs again next year if this keeps up.
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November 29, 2007 at 6:01 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
Not since Americans huddled by their radios and listened to Edward R. Murrow describe the London blitz has there been an event this big not covered live on television. We refer of course to tonight’s Dallas Cowboy-Green Bay Packer game, available only on the NFL Network.
The inability of most fans to see this match up has caused some resentment of the NFL and Cable TV service providers, both previously much beloved in this country. Here to answer questions about the controversy is NFL finance committee chairman, C. Montgomery Burns.
(Dudski) Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to explain the league’s position.
(Burns) Well, it does take time away from my charity work with the less fortunate. (Sinister laughter). In my case, that would be just about everybody.
(Dudski) Let’s move quickly to the recent controversy. Tonight’s Cowboys-Packers game. Not available to much of your loyal audience.
(Burns) You say loyal audience and you see an image of hard working men and women who have supported our league through good times and bad and made us what we are today. Nonsense! I hear those words and see slack jawed cretins drooling for more of whatever mind numbing gruel we serve up. The sort of people who pay full price for exhibition games.
(Dudski) But not many of them are willing to purchase access to the NFL Network from their cable providers.
(Burns) That’s because our business model is flawed. Our product is available through too many outlets. You miss a game, there’s another one coming along any minute now on some other channel of that video box thing. But once we establish the NFL Network we will be able to gradually move all of our product to an outlet WE control. Then, if Joe Average won’t pay our price, we turn off the tap.
(Dudski) I’m not following you. Are you talking about beer?
(Burns) You dolt, it’s an analogy. Try to keep up. Are you a grade school dropout or on air talent at ESPN?
(Dudski) I have a blog at FOX.
(Burns) Oh, those people. Howie, Terry, Jimmy, and Curt. It’s like one long, icy, swim through the shallow end of the gene pool. Except for Jimmy. His hair is perfect. I’m thinking of buying it.
But to answer your question, no, we will never stop selling beer.
There is a school of thought. Mine, actually, that says we should just turn on the lights, bring in the cheerleaders, and sell beer to 60,000 people each Sunday without the game. Whatever marginal loss we have in attendance would be offset by reductions in player salaries. We’ve done some market research and many of the fans we surveyed would still show up.
We’re currently testing names for this concept, just in case the ingrates who play in the NFL ever figure out that partially guaranteed contracts are like the word of that young Simpson lad and go on strike. Totally meaningless. Eat my shorts, indeed. We’re thinking of calling it "Hooters".
(Dudski) I think someone is already using that.
(Burns) Curses. TGI Sundays?
(Dudski) Might be a problem.
(Burns) Epplebees?
(Dudski) Look, we’re a little short on time here. The game is about to start and I’d like to login to FOX Sports and follow the game on the internet so….
(Burns) Inter what?
(Dudski) The internet. You can follow the game in progress, get play by play, stats, up to the minute information on injuries, photos of game action.
(Burns) Goodness, how much are we charging for that?
(Dudski) It’s free, actually.
(Burns) You will not use that word in my presence! Smithers! Smithers!
(Smithers) Yes, Mr. Burns?
(Burns) See this "gentleman" out. He has insulted my belief system.
(Smithers) But, sir, you have no core values. You sold personal seat licenses to the Carolina Panthers, threatened to move the Bills to Toronto, let a steroid abuser play in the Pro Bowl, looked the other way while a drunken mob tired to intimidate women at the Jets game into lifting their shirts, charge $15 for a parking space as far from the stadium as man is from walking on the surface of Mars, and lectured athletes on morality while letting badly injured retired players scrape by on a pittance. And I won’t even go into what you did with Jessica Simpson behind the United Way kettle at that game last season….
(Burns) I don’t want to hear it. Let loose the hounds!
(Smithers) But, sir!
(Burns) You heard me, let loose the hounds!
(Dudski) I’ll let myself out.
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November 27, 2007 at 7:18 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
Made the mistake of listening to sports talk radio today.
I don’t want to pick on Jim Rome. The basic equation runs like this. Rome-millions and millions of listeners, enormous income, access to any sports figure he wants to interview. Me-small time internet blog.
In the market place Rome has found an audience and satisfied it’s expectations. He can talk for three hours and people don’t get bored. I can talk for three minutes and birds fall off tree limbs.
But still.
Why are sports talk radio listeners obsessed with using the word suck? And not just Rome’s "clones". Turn the dial to any of the hundreds of identical sports talk call in shows, anywhere in the country, and the talk inevitably turns to suction.
The coach. The players. The owner. The stadium. The line for hot dogs at the stadium. The parking. What you paid for parking. The traffic control that delayed you getting away from the stadium after the game. The GM. The trade he made. The trade he didn’t made. His wife. His family. The player’s wives. The lady who cleans the player’s house on Thursday. The goalie. The forward. The sport of soccer. Baseball. Lithuania. Steroids. People who disapprove of steroids. People who shout things during the anthem. People who don’t like people who shout things during the national anthem.
Am I leaving anything or anyone out? Don’t worry, they’ll cover it tomorrow.
One simple four letter word meant to stop any debate. A verbal grenade thrown around the corner to clear out the room before entering. "Why, my good fellow, you obviously don’t appreciate my blinding grasp of the fine points of this argument. With my rapier like mastery of discourse, I have just played the suck card. You, sir, are defeated."
What would Freud think? Never mind. They would just say that he was engaged in the act of drawing in by establishing a partial vacuum. Or, words to that effect.
Try going to a game. At some point someone will yell out to some player or other, "You ____!". Then mom and dad have to take their five year old kid home and explain what it means. Or worse, if they don’t step in forcefully they have to here little Timmy running around saying it to his sister. Or get the phone call from the teacher after he shows off his new favorite word at school.
Can’t sports give up one word? OK, two. I’d like someone to explain to me what athleticism is. The belief in athletics? But we can let athleticism go for now. Let’s just suck it up and give up suck.
Not because of religion. Not because we look down at people who use the word. Not because we want to do away with the First Amendment. But because it is the single most boring, useless, overused, under thought, done to death phrase in all of sports.
You might even say it…
Nevermind.
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November 25, 2007 at 5:49 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
I think I have this "Blog of the Day" thing figured out.
Got home today and there it was. The Dudski avatar right there at the top of the page. A moment of sheer excitement rivaled only by receiving notice in the mail from the Publisher’s Clearing House that I might be a winner. (I’ve left the porch light on in case Ed McMahon has trouble finding my house when they bring me the BIG check).
Now, this is the point where I’m supposed to say that I don’t care about Blog of the Day. How I write for the pleasure of writing, for the wonderful friends I’ve met, for the hope that someone who is down on their luck will read my blog and step back from life’s abyss and find a reason to carry on.
Not bloody likely.
Of course I want to win Blog of the Day. Picture a grown man punching his fist in the air and shouting "Blog of the Day….Blog of the Day", spiking his mouse into the keyboard, and doing the Lambeau leap into the recliner. OK, I’m not that man, but at the same time there is a reason there will never be a web cam attached to this blog.
If, like me, you could build a bonfire of your vanities (wait, I think someone used that already) and actually want to win Blog of the Day, here are a few suggestions:
Save your good stuff for a day when LisaH isn’t posting. I can give you about 72,000 reasons why, based on the click counter on her blog. My site meter is up above around 60,000 but you have to keep in mind that about 59,000 clicks came when I accidentally learned the biggest BOTD secret.
Sex sells.
Posted a bunch of pictures of NBA cheerleaders with funny captions underneath. That got about 59,000 of my 60,000 clicks over a two day period. Why? Well, it sure wasn’t the captions. Most of the comments I got where of the Homer Simpson variety. "Hmmm….cheerleaders". There was this one photo of a Boston Celtics cheerleader…well, here see for yourself
http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Dudski/2007/11/12/Shameless_NBA_Cheeleader_Photo_Blog_Entry
Truth is, she should have gotten blog of the day.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, how to get "blog of the day".
You need to pick a day hardly anybody is posting. This appears to be Saturday or Sunday (which explains my BOTD honor today). Many people spend time with their wives, (well somebody’s wives), on the weekends. They shop, visit, have hobbies, attend games, and go to church. What they don’t do is blog. That’s why your best chance of getting Blog of the Day is on the weekend.
Most posting and blog reading occurs on week days. Ironically, on week days during business hours. When people are supposed to be working. Go figure. I’ve never actually seen the people who work for me posting a blog, but I am suspicious that some of the entries on the "My Boss Is A Useless Waste Of A Paycheck" website sound a great deal like things I’ve said at work.
Which brings us to timing. I post around 8 PM after I’ve gotten off work and burned what might have turned out to be an edible meal. No good. Since I got the site meter, I’ve discovered that most people are reading my blog between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. That’s especially true if you end up in the Funhouse.
The FOX Funhouse takes our blogs and moves them to part of the main FOX website with the real writers (and most of the real live readers). It is posted mid day when your prime audience (people reading about cheerleaders at work) is available, and is a great way to get your blog noticed. If you think they might be missing your best efforts you can even e-mail them at foxfunhouse@hotmail.com.
The Fun House gets alot of readers. Take this young lady for example. She was featured on a recent Fun House. Remember Rule #1.
Where was I again?
Oh. Timing. As I was pointing out, when I post late in the evening I don’t see the old site meter clicker moving very rapidly. However, the over seas audience does increase. Which is why one of my next blogs is going to be called, "I Don’t Know Why You Say Dubai, I Say Hello".
Which brings me to pandering to your audience. You should. If they hate Barry Bonds you should hate Barry Bonds. If they want the Nebraska coach fired, YOU want the Nebraska coach fired. If they want to take up arms against the government. Well, at least write another Bonds blog.
Finally, you must have a catchy headline for your blog. Look at the headlines on the papers you see at the check out counter when you buy groceries. Learn from them how to reach out and grab your audience. A few suggestions:
Steroid Allegations Cause Bonds Anorexia Relapse.
Brian Urlacher Cries On Sidelines After Learning Of Pet Adoption Snafu
Terrell Owens Abducted by Space Aliens-Then Quickly Returned
Secret Brady/Romo Pact-You Take Hollywood, I’ll Take Nashville.
The Shocking Reason Brian Griese Was Voted Off "Who Wants to be the Bears QB"
With just these few tips you too can know the thrill of being "Blog of the Day". Start writing now. Today could be your day.
And if not, there’s always next Sunday.
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November 25, 2007 at 7:28 am · Filed under Uncategorized
And here I thought butchering the national anthem was an American thing.
Au contraire. (And a big shout out to my seven international readers).
Picture this. Eighty-thousand soccer, football, whatever fans in the stands at Wembley. Big match. England must beat Croatia to stay in one of those incomprehensible tournaments the Euros have. It leads to the World Cup, the Olympics, or perdition. I’m just not sure.
So they trot out an opera singer to do the Croatian Anthem. His name is Tony Snow. Right away you notice two things. #1.-Pretty snappy dresser for an opera singer. #2.-Wow! This is what Steve Urkel will look like in his forties.
Now, our new friend Tony gets to this line in the Croatian anthem-
‘Mila kuda si planina’ (which roughly means ‘You know my dear how we love your mountains’).
Which he sings as-
‘My dear, my (male sexual organ) is a mountain’.
Only he didn’t say, male sexual organ. For the crossword fans out there, five letters beginning with ‘p’ and ending in ’s’.
The Croatians took it well. After they polished off England 3-2 they gave Snow credit for helping relax them. Truth be told, the TV shots showed them laughing so hard they had trouble taking the field.
Now, some Brits are blaming Snow for loosening up the opposition.
"I can’t take the blame for that. The last thing I would
do is brag about my parts like that - especially to make it so public,"
said Henry. Yeah, sure. And Roseanne Barr…well, nevermind.
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November 24, 2007 at 6:08 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
Serious question.
When is enough, enough? What do they have to do to drive you away?
OK, losing. That one is a given. But if that’s all it takes you weren’t much of a fan to begin with. In fact, you probably pick the team you follow based on the probability of a winning season. They lose, you choose, you’re gone.
The answer depends on the sport and it depends on whether it’s the pros or college. Start with baseball. I’m an Oriole fan. There’s no hope. Not today, not tomorrow, not ten years from now. But I can absolutely, positively say that I won’t ever stop being an Orioles fan. Can I get an amen from the brethern on the North side of Chicago?
Maybe it’s history. In hockey it’s the Montreal Canadiens for me. You don’t stop pulling for Les Habitants. Maybe it’s the red and blue uniforms, or the tradition, or something else. The sense that if hockey is a religion, the home church is in Montreal. I’m not happy with management not spending what it takes to get better, but I’m not giving up. Every year about this time they give us hope that dies in March, but life is tough. You get over it.
Which brings us to the Cowboys. When Jerry Jones fired Tom Landry that should have been it. You don’t fire Tom Landry. That’s a long time ago, but it hasn’t been forgotten. Jones will always be an outsider, the George Steinbrenner of the Cowboys. When T.O. was signed, there was another reason to leave. Couldn’t do it. Now they have Tony Romo and leaving is out of the question. It’s like having Don Meredith back.
i’m a knicks fan. OK, I said it. Are you happy? Now here’s the problem. How do you pull for a team with management that functions the way Caligula ran the Roman Empire? How do you cheer for Stephon Marbury? When other teams are openly saying your guys don’t have heart and don’t come to compete why shouldn’t you grab you coat, tip your hat to Spike Lee, and head for the exits?
But it’s difficult. You want to stay for the kids. Jamal Crawford, David Lee, Nate Robinson. But is there anything left to save? Wasn’t it Mick Jagger who once said, "Faith has been broken, tears must be cried?" Well, you can’t just wander in with Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry and pretend it’s the same team Walt Frazier and Willis Reed represented.
Then again, where do you go? I should support the Charlotte Bobcats, but I don’t think there’s a long-term relationship there. Robert Johnson’s mismanagement will cause them to go bust within five years. As a Texan it should be the Mavericks, but pull for a team owned by Mark Cuban? No way. Maybe I’ll adopt a stray. Take in the Atlanta Hawks. Well, no.
College sports are different. "Be True to Your School", all that sort of thing. But my school (UNC-Greensboro) doesn’t even have a football team. Since my dad was in the Navy 23 years I’ve always pulled for them. Most years they’ve been admirable losers who fought to the last whistle and always came up short.
Ironically, winning is ruining being a Navy fan. WIth winning has come three separate sexual assault scandals, a multi-player steroid controversy, and a coach (Paul Johnson) who gets paid $1.8 million a year. Navy isn’t Navy anymore, and only Army is what Navy was. Which leads to thoughts of pulling for Army, which leads to thoughts of walking into the ocean and letting the tide carry me away. Yikes!
In NCAA basketball I pull for UNC-G and even go to a few games each season. But that’s not my favorite team. It’s Virginia. Why? Because years ago UVA’s basketball team was made of up of slow white guys who could hit the outside shot. Since I’m a slow white guy who can hit the outside shot it just seemed to fit.
Will I quit now that Virginia doesn’t look like me on the court? No. I like the coach (Dave Leitao) and the team. They are no longer mostly white and they aren’t a bunch of outside shooters anymore, but that’s OK. They still fight hard and that’s what counts.
So, there you have it. At the end of the day even one way loyalty counts to a sports fan. Plan B is hard to find and so is the energy to find a new team. We get taken for granted by management, abandoned by players who walk away for money, and ignored by college programs that are run by a small group of big money types. But they are our teams and we’ll remain faithful.
Even if they won’t.
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November 23, 2007 at 7:29 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
It’s like this. The NFL is Pavlov. We’re the dogs.
The NFL has been #1 in sports for so long we’ve stopped paying attention to the product on the field. It’s the football, it’s the NFL, it’s the Cowboys, it’s the Patroits. They ring the bell, we drool. What’s not to like?
A lot.
Start with corporate greed. The same guys who were too poor to build their own stadiums now want you to pay a buck apiece for the NFL Network. If they get their way the cable TV giants put it on their basic package.
How’s this for lose-lose? The NFL Network doesn’t get on basic cable. You lose, for example this Thursday night when the Cowboys and Packers square off to see who is number one in the NFC. The game won’t be on at your house unless you’ve got the NFL Network package. The NFL Network does make basic cable. You lose. You are now paying $12 a year more to watch a few extra games each season. Even customers with no interest in the NFL have to pay.
And what are we watching? The worst NFL games in a long time thanks to the salary cap.
When the cap came in the league said it was for our benefit. We would have "parity" and fans in every city throughout the league could expect their team to make it to the playoffs every couple of years.
It’s not happening.
Seven teams are at 7-3 or better. Thirteen have 4 wins or less. The AFC West is lead by two teams with 5-5 records. Six teams that won their division last year have a combined record of 28-32. Most NFL games involving Payton Manning, Tom Brady, Brett Favre, or Tony Romo look like touch football. The rest of the games don’t look like much of anything at all.
The salary cap means teams can’t keep offensive and defensive lines together. It means defenses are constantly working in new starters. It means a lack of continuity and a lower quality of play. It means Tom Brady playing catch with Randy Moss every weekend and the Jets getting noticed for what the guys at Gate D are up to. It means pariocrity.
It also means if you’re an Atlanta Falcons or Arizona Cardinals fan you can’t look to free agency for help. The rules are rigged so free agents don’t move. The only movement is by players who are cut to save cap space. Players who were useful parts of their teams. Players who might make a difference. Players who could help build the kind of great teams the NFL used to have.
You want suspense? Wait for FOX to name the robot. Otherwise, forget it. The AFC championship is going to be the Patriots against the Colts. In the NFC it’s the Cowboys against either the Packers or Giants. Everybody else can climb out of the pool and dry off. The party is over.
You want a running game? Sorry, no can do. Of the top 10 rushers in the league only 2 are averaging more than 4.3 yards a carry. Felt sorry for Thomas Jones of the Jets yesterday when he got stuffed for 40 yards on 17 attempts? Well, that was the #8 rusher in all of pro football.
You want hitting? You can’t handle hitting. Or, I should say the NFL thinks your quarterback can’t handle hitting. There are so many rules against contact with the quarterback soon there will be a restraining order taken out to prevent pre-game handshakes.
The NFL wants you to sit back and pop a nice cold can of whatever their advertisers are selling. Watch the bimbettes on the sidelines, but remember the NFL respects women and deplores what went on at Gate D. Understand that guys like PacMan Jones won’t be tolerated, and then sit back and watch steroid abusers play in the Pro Bowl.
Buy some logo merchandise, but don’t ask where or how it was made. Cancel your cable subscription, or at least threaten to, so you can pay extra for games you don’t want to see. Renew your seat rights for next year so you don’t miss a thrilling minute of the pre season games you pay full price for and don’t want to attend.
Tip your hat to the Commissar. Clap at the circus and smile for the cameras.
You paid for it.
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November 22, 2007 at 7:16 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
Who cares about the Nextel Cup or whatever NASCAR calls it? The first 2/3 of the season is now
meaningless. Just pencil the names into the chase by looking at the power team’s rosters. Two years ago NASCAR looked like a sport on the way up. Reality has set in. The drivers are all cut from the same cookie cutter, the car of tomorrow isn’t very interesting today, and we’re finally starting to notice that it’s all just one big left turn.
Nick Saban says Bama’s loss to Louisiana-Monroe was a “catastrophe”and compared it to 9/11 and Pearl Harbor. Before people write Saban’s comments as dumb at best, and insensitive at worst, we need to think this through. Are we blindly accepting the official version of events on 11/17? Did the Crimson Tide really collapse after being hit by just three touchdowns? Could it be the whole thing was a plot to draw Alabama into a protracted war for recruits with Florida? Wake up people, before your team’s mascot is being water boarded, and your cheerleaders sent off to who knows where to do who knows what with who knows who.
Worst NFL season ever. This season is the biggest snooze fest in league history. Yes, the Patriots are great, and the Cowboys have put some interesting pieces together. But look at all the good teams from last year who have collapsed. The Bears, Eagles, Jets, Ravens, Saints, Chiefs, and Broncos are already burnt toast. Parity? Guess what, it was never about parity, it was about keeping salaries down. So teams can’t build their offensive and defensive lines, can’t hold what they’ve got, and we’re supposed to not notice that nobody can play defense any more. Bor-ing.
I feel bad for Mike Vick.
I know, but no matter what #7 did, he is a human being stuck away in a really bad place. Is he even going to be safe there? Law enforcement has to go after dog fighting, if for no other reason than it knocks down a lot of drug dealers. Not saying Vick shouldn’t be in jail. It’s just a real shame.
Torii Hunter to the Angels. I like it. Should move Los Angeles, or Anaheim, or Palos Verdes or whoever they are into the Big Three with the RedSox and Yankees. The Yankees could be improved over last season and still go no further in the playoffs. On the subject of the Yankees, why does Hank Steinbrenner get to run the team? His sister Jenny Steinbrenner has a business degree from UNC. Might make a nice change from the Stein boys. Let me see if I have this right. A bunch of drunken Jets fans have “Gate D parties” at Giants stadiums and harass women. The team doesn’t notice until it hits Youtube. In the words of Inspector Reneault in Casablanca, “I’m shocked, shocked, to find such activities going on in this establishment.” Yeah, right.
Occasionally I go back to blogs I haven’t seen in awhile to see what’s up. Some have gone away, some
haven’t had an entry in awhile, and some are as good as I remembered. Ran across an interesting entry at “Belle of the Ball’s” blog. Turns out she has become a blogger covering Ohio State football for the Columbus
Dispatch. Here is the link at http://blog.dispatch.com/wholf/. And speaking of people doing bigger and
better things, CarolynT has a blog on parenting for the Poughkeepsie Journal at ttp://www.carolynmom.blogspot.com/. I’m shopping around for an appropriate outlet myself. Understand the Daily Fishwrap and Penny Saver might be interested.
All your questions answered, no extra charge. The Packers are not for real. LSU will win the national title. The Lakers will not trade Kobe, can’t get value in return. Stick a fork in Martin Brodeur. He’s done. And Jimmy Rollins will be, should be, must be, the next big thing in baseball. Forget ARod. Jimmy Rollins IS baseball.
And finally. WHOOPS!
November 19, 2007 at 5:32 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
It’s Magic! 9-2 and first in the Southeast. The best evidence Orlando is for real, a road 117-116 win over LeBron and the Cavs. James gets 39-14-13, but Dwight Howard counters with 35 points and 16 rebounds. Seattle at home and the Nets on the road were blowouts in a 3-0 week.
The Bobcats are at 5-4 and split 4 games last week. Two home wins, two road losses. A loss to a good team (Houston) and a not so good team (Atlanta), two wins over the rear guard (Miami and Seattle). Here’s a bigger problem. Twelve thousand attendance against Orlando, fourteen thousand for the Sonics.
The Celtics (3-0) roll on in the Atlantic. Up 11 going into the 4th quarter, Boston nearly let Miami off the hook. Balanced scoring all three games, especially against the Nets (six in double figures). Pierce and Allen go up and down, Garnett is the constant.
Everybody loves the Central. Pistons on top, Cavs, Bucks, and Pacers close behind. Bucks get two of three, Pacers lose 3 of 4. Memphis and Atlanta were easy pickings, but San Antonio provided a good check of how far the Bucks have come, which is not far enough. Twenty-five point loss, Redd and Bogut disappeared. LeBron and the Cavs? Two and two and not too impressive.
The Hornets run the table in the Southwest. Five wins, four on the road. On the other hand, two of the wins were against the 76ers. The other three wins (Timberwolves, Nets, and Grizzlies) weren’t exactly against the cream of the league. The Grizzlies were especially friendly. 40 points for David West, 28 and 13 assists by Chris Paul, and 17 rebounds for Tyson Chandler.
Spurs went 3-1, split Texas (beat Rockets, lost to Mavs). Dallas went 3-0 and hasn’t lost a game with Devin Harris starting at point guard. When Dirk Nowitzki is your #3 scorer, life is good.
The cream is separating in the Northwest. The Nuggets took 3, the Jazz went 2-2 with road losses to the Cavs and Pacers. Iverson and Anthony get the press, but Marcus Camby gets the boards, 15 a game last week. Carlos Boozer is having a monster year, but the Jazz need something more than 12 points from Andre Kirlienko.
Suns are rising. Three and oh last week, every win by ten or more points. Grant Hill has been surprisingly effective. Hill played 37 minutes or more in each game and is putting up big time numbers. The good are getting better.\
Top Five The way I figure it; 1. Phoenix 2. San Antonio 3. Dallas, 4. Boston 5. New Orleans.
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November 17, 2007 at 8:51 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
ACC football fans are not of hearty stock. We don’t do well with extremes in temperature. At the first Wake Forest game this season the mercury hit the low 90’s with humidity previously known only to tropical forests. Women swooned, men became dehydrated, and bottled water ran out in the third quarter.
Tonight, the Demon Deacons closed their home schedule somewhere in the upper forties, which felt like the twenties every time a gust of wind came along. And they beat NC State 38-18 in the first annual "What? I Didn’t See Any Pass Interference" Bowl.
Now, those of you who sat through the dismal Michigan-Ohio State game (and, by the way, isn’t good supposed to triumph over evil, what’s up with that?) are probably calling us Southerners wimps. That’s fine. You tried that 144 years ago and we felt compelled to come as far north as Pennsylvania and shoot large numbers of you before leisurely retiring to our home territory (at least that’s how WE tell it).
So here is what I learned in my first season with Wake Forest football:
Pearls go with everything. Wake is a rather well endowed school and so are many of the female alumni. They come semi-willingly to the games with their golfing attired husbands looking like hot versions of Donna Reed. The women that is. Let me make that very clear. There are NO cross dressing male alumni in the stands at the Wake games. But it’s sometimes hard to tell, and I could be wrong.
There was a young man who sat to my left tonight repeatedly spitting into a large puddle he created, but that’s a different story for another time. I think his name was Pavlov.
Offense is highly over rated. Wake Forest’s scoring is generated by long interception returns and longer kickoff and punt returns. The quarterback, Riley Skinner, is mainly ornamental. If he turns the ball over no more than twice a game they can beat any team in the country, unfortunately sometimes including themselves.
Jim Grobe is a great coach and a nice guy. Obviously he’ll never amount to anything in his chosen profession. When there are sleazy low lifes getting 10 year contracts and space program money for coaching which amounts to recruiting players who can’t spell SAT, it’s obvious Grobe just doesn’t get. Poor fellow.
The best bands are the ones in the stands. Wake Forest has a great marching band that you can never quite hear at halftime. The visiting pep bands are more fun to listen to. The NC State pep band played their horn sections off tonight and dressed like real college students. Let’s all lift a glass of whatever they are probably having too many of to their honor.
FAA rules do not apply to stadium flyovers just before the National Anthem. Before the Wake-Army game two F-15’s flew over low enough take photos of the cheerleaders, which I suspect was the point all along. Unfortunately, they were under developed. The pictures, that is.
Dante’s Inferno is real. It exists wherever inadequate non-permit parking exists near a major college stadium. "Abandon Hope Ye Who Enter In" (or exit out).
Everything is better as a call and response. Shouting "Wake" to your companions across the field and hearing them respond "Forest" is inspirational. It is a useful cheer, and can also be switched to "Wake" and "Up" when the Deacons have the ball on offense.
OK, the Wake Forest offense isn’t really that bad. It’s just that Wake has the best defense in the country and could conceivably beat any team in the country on any given Saturday. They won’t get that chance, but they will get a nice consolation bowl trip to finish the year, if they can get past the Commodores (the Vanderbilt football team, not the singing group).
A few quick points:
The stadium hot dog is not your friend.
The guy who is yelling all that great advice to the coach is probably not ever going to be one.
Those big checks somebody is always donating at halftime are not real checks.
Hamster ball races are not legitimate sporting events and exist outside all rules and
normal sporting conventions. It cries out for regulation.
If a woman is giving you a come hither look from a few rows away, she probably has a
large, thick necked friend who is sitting a few rows back of you.
Go Deacs!
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