Bread and Circuses
The Best of Fox Sports
Archive for February, 2008
February 26, 2008 at 6:43 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
(Moderator) Welcome to tonight’s debate between Senators Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton. I’m your moderator, Tom Slow co-host of the PBS nightly news presentation the Slow-Lehrner Report. Tonight’s panelists are Mr. Robert Knight-a former college basketball coach, William Belichick of Boston-coach of the NFL’s New England Patriots, and William R. Clemens-former professional baseball player and expert on health care issues.
Tonight our topic is sports. By a coin toss prior to the debate, Mr. Obama will give the first opening statement, Ms. Clinton will receive the first question. Mr. Obama-
(Obama) I come tonight not to talk about my aspirations, but the inspiration of America’s dreams. Hope for change. It’s what fans of the Pittsburgh Pirates yearn for, what gives meaning to 100 years of frustration for the followers of the Chicago Cubs, and the only thing that stops fans of the Memphis Grizzlies from lying down on Beale Street and begging for the sweet release that only a five ton cross town bus can provide.
(Moderator) Ms. Clinton.
(Clinton) For eight years when the call went out from the White House to the Super Bowl champion’s locker room, I was there. When NBA champions brought #1 jerseys with the name Clinton on the back, they knew to bring two, one for each president. And when people would say to me, "Hilary, those NFL cheerleaders look just like Hooters Girls", I knew just what they meant because I followed my husband into Hooters more times than I can count.
When my worthy opponent was still playing soccer or cricket or whatever foreign sport he was involved in instead of baseball, I was out there fighting. Floating like a butterfly. Stinging like a bee. I’m a very…..bad…..woman. A….very…bad….woman. (gesturing at Obama and moving menacingly toward him) You’re going down. You’re going down!
(Moderator) Ah, back to your corners please. Our first question to Mrs. Clinton is on health care. Mr. Clemens?
(Clemens) As you know, we’re a rapidly aging nation. Debilitating injuries can cut short employment, and the Mitchell Report has shown that 7 out of 10 baseball players do not have steroidal coverage in their health care plans. What would you do as President about this vital issue?
(Clinton) I am so happy you asked that. At a recent campaign stop I met a man who used to be a baseball player. For the sake of this discussion we’ll just call him Buddy Biancalana. He hit only 6 HR in 550 major league at bats. His career was cut short because, back in 1987 when Buddy retired, not all American Leaguers could afford designer steroids and HGH. Today we’d be able to pump him up at least three hat sizes and 15 HR’s a season, provided he could pay for the coverage. How many skinny, emaciated, white shortstops will we have to watch before this country does something about steroid coverage!
(Obama) We don’t need to inject race into this. I remember Rey Ordonez. Nine seasons, 3,000+ at bats, 12 home runs. So, don’t lecture me about automatic outs in the 8 spot. The question is not whether players need steroids, it’s who is going to pay for it. Are average beer swilling citizens going to have to pay higher ticket prices, or are we going to make players without steroid coverage pay their own way so we can achieve universal coverage? If blank checks and empty promises achieved results, the Baltimore Orioles would have a bullpen. We’ve got to find that balance.
(Clinton) I just want to add, Mr. Clemens, that I’ve seen your wife’s body of work in this area and I am impressed. Very, impressed.
(Clemens) Ah, thanks. I think.
(Moderator) Mr. Obama, our next question comes from Mr. Belichick on the subject of national intelligence capabilities.
(Belichick) You’re widely quoted as being inspired by John F. Kennedy and many commentators have remarked how similar you are. In 1960 JFK talked about the widening missile gap with the Russians. Today, there is a crying need for smaller video cameras and spy satellite’s that can resolve images down to the clipboard level from outer space. What will you do as President to make sure we have those capabilities?
(Obama) I have HOPE for a CHANGE in the NFL’s policy on surveillance equipment. But HOPE is not enough unless we CHANGE the dynamic of the arguement. Only then will the HOPED for CHANGE give us the CHANGE we HOPE for.
(Clinton) This is exactly what I mean. Hope and change. I hoped Bill would change for years, but that didn’t get results. Mr. Belichick, let me answer that question directly. Video tape gets results. Night vision goggles get results. Spy satellites so accurate they can read a greasy Arkansas hamburger joint’s menu from 15 miles up. That gets results. Patriots, true Patriots, don’t let Moss grow under their feet.
(Moderator) Time for a quick rebuttal. Senator Obama?
(Obama) Patriots? Listen to this pandering on the part of my opponent, the Cubs fan. Or is it Yankees fan, or WhiteSox fan? If Canadians could vote, she would probably be the biggest Toronto Argonaut fan in America.
(Moderator) Now to Mr. Knight and….
(Clinton) Wait just a minute. I have to respond to that. For Mr. Obama to insinuate that I would have anything to do with three down, 110 yard football is just not acceptable. And, Canadians CAN vote, just not in our elections. Do your homework, Mr. Obama. If that’s your real name.
(Obama) Now that’s a CHANGE. I HOPE my opponent will make a clear statement against the CFL and for the NFL. Now that my HOPE has been realized, I’m willing to CHANGE and admit to being the better person, I mean bigger man. At least I HOPE so anyway.
(Clinton, under her breath) Rugby fan.
(Moderator) Now, let’s move this along. Again, I would caution the audience that the wave is not normally a part of political debates. So, let’s all just settle down. Mr. Knight, the final question.
(Knight) I’m hearing a shotgun approach to these questions, which frankly I’m all in favor of. But I want to ask each of you a simple question. Are you tough enough? When the going gets tough, how far does the chair go across the court with each of you?
(Obama) Over the year I’ve CHANGED, or at least I HOPE I’ve CHANGED.
(Clinton) Give me a break!
(Knight) You go girl, let him have it with both barrels!
(Clinton) This man has the nerve to stand stand here and say he’s for change. Now, I’ve been cautioned to play it safe, to not take a stand, to go away quietly.
(Knight) Say it, sister!
(Clinton) But I’m not going anywhere. It’s a FACT that this man has never, never spoken out against restrictor plates in NASCAR. He’s never said word one against the short 3 point line in
NCAA basketball, and when he had chances to speak up against the DH. Did he? Did he? No, he did not. He didn’t even vote "present", and you want to know why? This is a man who doesn’t know who Dale Earhardt was, who secretly plays basketball in Chuck Taylors? Who would socialize the 9th spot in the order and not require pitchers to work like hard working fans have to. I’m sorry, if this is his version of change, then I’m against it.
(Obama) Let me answer that if for a CHANGE, she will let me. I HOPE. The search for Amelia Earhardt will be a top priority of my administration, we WILL, I HOPE, move the three point line back to 60 feet, six inches, and I have never used DH, or HGH, or whatever she just said.
(Clinton) You heard him, this man is a fraud! Amelia Earnhardt? Sixty feet six inches? I can’t believe a candidate of the party of Franklin Roosevelt and Tyrus Raymond Cobb would say these things. Rewind the tape on that one, Mr. Belichick. My opponent is down for the count. I am the greatest! I am the greatest!
(Obama) CHANGE! I HOPE for CHANGE in the tone of this debate!
(Bell Ringing)
(Moderator) At 16 minutes and 51 seconds, the winner and new Sports Presidential Champion, Democratic Division, the Chicago Crusher-Hilary Diane Rodham Clinton!
(Bill Clinton) Love you babe! Great job, I’m just going to go across the street and get some wings, I’ll be back Thursday.
(Clinton) You’re next, Billy Boy, you’re going down!
(Obama) I HOPE this isn’t the end for you guys. He could CHANGE.
(Clinton) Shut up, just shut up!
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February 25, 2008 at 6:19 am · Filed under Uncategorized
I’m listening to Dick Vitale talk about the great heavyweight fight between Tennessee and Memphis. And he’s right. Big instate rivalry, the #2 team knocks off an undefeated #1 from the same state, and the level of intensity on the court was great.
But is this great basketball and are these great teams?
No and No.
Vitale’s heavyweight analogy goes another way. College basketball is like heavyweight boxing. It has seen it’s better days. Today’s champs would be eaten alive by the great teams of March Madness past. Too many early exits to the pros, too many players reading their own press clippings, and the game itself just isn’t that good.
The greatest athletes who have ever played the game and the worst basketball players.
Let’s look at Tennessee-Memphis. #1 vs #2.
Playing with a three point arc so close it turns routine jump shots into three point plays the two best teams in the country couldn’t score but 128 points combined (114 without the extra point tacked on for the 14 three pointers the two teams made).
These are the guys who can’t shoot straight.
The Volunteers made just 40% of their two pointers, and 32% of the their 19 three point trys. They made 67% of the free throws they attempted, a figure which would cause any high school coach in the country to send his team back to the gym for practice.
Memphis was a little better at two point plays (15-31), which should have motivated them not to spend the night throwing up errant three point shots (8-27 30%). Of course, if they had pounded it inside the odds are they wouldn’t have converted on any free throws they earned. For the night, the #1 team in the country made 8 free throws and missed 9.
What we are seeing is the transition from the inside to outside flow of offense in the past to an outside-inside game. Look for the bad shot first, then get the ball inside. Which, if it worked, would be a good idea.
But it doesn’t.
Vitale’s two "heavyweights" also racked up 24 assists and 26 turnovers. The two best teams in the country can’t get their A/TO ratio up past 1? The top assist total by a Memphis player was 5, tops for Tennessee was 3.
Assists are hard to come by when you don’t run, and you can’t run without rebounding. Rebounding requires good fundamentals, which these teams don’t have. The leading rebounder was a 6-2 guard JaJuan Smith who had 10.
Great games are supposed to be a stage for great players. Tennessee’s much hyped Chris Lofton had 7 points. Derrick Rose showed up big for Memphis, as expected, but if you pull his stat line away the toothless Tigers made only 8 other 2 pointers, were 6-22 from the 3 point area, and 5-11 at the charity stripe.
These are great teams? Are they even good teams?
Tennessee gave 24 minutes playing time to a guard (Ramar Smith) who went 2-9 with 2 assists. Two Tennessee starters played 57 minutes without a free throw attempt between them. Memphis invested 28 minutes in Joey Dorsey and got 1 point back.
Vitale watches alot more basketball than I do. He knows some infinitely greater times more about the game than I do. But if he thinks this was a heavyweight match it says alot about the quality of play he is seeing and how accustomed he’s become to seeing garbage served on a silver tray and called fine dining.
This was modern college basketball at it’s finest. Lots of driving to the basket for off balance shots. Poor shot selection. Unproductive dribbling that doesn’t lead anywhere. Poor movement away from the ball. No free throw shooting.
Heavyweight match? Wake up Dick. Tennessee-Memphis was a pillow fight.
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February 23, 2008 at 6:23 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
WASHINGTON (AP) A lawyer for Roger Clemens said Saturday the pitcher can prove he didn’t attend a party at the home of admitted steroid user Jose Conseco.
However, the Dudski Report is able to link Clemens with a number of other questionable activities through diligent research and photographic evidence. Proof positive that we CAN blame everything on Roger Clemens.
Here is Clemens fleeing Ford’s Theatre with what may or may not be a pistol in his left hand. Coincidence? I think not.
Clemens next appearance in history comes during the
disasterous Chicago Fire, in which a cow owned by a Mrs. O’Leary knocked over a
lantern which burned down a large portion of the city. Here is a photo of Clemens and the actual cow which started the fire. It has been learned Clemens and trainer Brian MacNamee had injected the cow with human growth hormone (HGH).
Few people are aware of the role a younger Roger Clemens
played in the catastrophic crash of the Hindenburg, brought down by this errant
fastball.
What part Clemens played in the rise of fascism in Europe
remains unclear, but as these pictures show the pitcher was widely admired in
certain circles in the 1930’s.
Are the rumors true concerning Clemens and the Lindberg
kidnapping? The Dudski Report shows for the first time this startling
photo of Clemens with the Lindberg baby.
Clemens admiration for the single minded training methods
of dictators lead to a brief friendship with Joseph Stalin, as shown here in this photo from the KGB archives.
All along there have been ugly rumors about Clemens
associates away from the playing field. Here Clemens and Jimmy Hoffa
testify before Bobby Kennedy’s Senate subcommittee on organized crime.
These new, heavily censored CIA photos of the crowd in Dealey
Plaza on November 22, 1963 raise deeply disturbing questions
that demand answers, even if they are the wrong answers.
The sixties brought the golden age of rock, and Clemens
was there. Some believe it was Clemens (and not Yoko Ono) who drove a
wedge between Lennon and McCartney and broke up the Beatles. Said Ringo
Starr years later,“If it weren’t for that Clemens bloke and his ‘performance enchancing’ drugs we’d
probably have gone on making pleasant pop songs for years. But six weeks
with that guy and John was all like, “I am the Walrus” and Paul was singing about
revolution and helter skelter. I never liked him.”
While some people believe Andy Pettite was the first young,
impressionable victim of Clemens flirtation with performance enhancing drugs,
Keith Richards was actually an early protégé of Clemens as these before and
after shots show.
Could Roger Clemens have been the notorious serial killer
known as the Zodiac? Look at these handwriting samples and judge for
yourself.
To this day the extent of Clemens evil influence on
history can only be hinted at. Could these photos from a French newspaper
show, as some allege, Clemens providing American nuclear technology to Iran?
Some may say Clemens is innocent until proven guilty. Some may say he’s being sold down the river by a friend with a dubious past. Some say let the rule of law prevail. Nonsense. We must have someone to blame!
Besides, Bob Knight’s retired and the job is vacant.
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February 22, 2008 at 7:24 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
Baseball is coming back. Seems like a good time to restate some fundamental beliefs.
Fielding range and fielding percentage are illusions. A shortstop who can think fast under pressure is worth five games a season.
Managers aren’t in the game to manage players, but to manage outs and acquire them.
A bunt is a waste of a perfectly good at bat.
The threat of a stolen base puts pressure on pitchers, getting thrown out stealing relieves it.
Catchers don’t make pitchers better. Experience makes pitchers better.
Games are won and lost in the 6th and 7th innings. Closers pitch the 9th. Do the math.
The 12th pitcher in the NL boxes in a manager in the late innings when he doesn’t have an appropriate pinch hitter.
A number one starter whose team wins 70% of their starts can be the difference maker in winning a division.
Bad number five starters can be the cause of not winning a division.
You go with the middle relievers who can get outs, regardless of whether the batter coming up is left handed or right handed.
Sacrificing one batting spot to defense can be wisdom.
Sacrificing two batting spots to defense steals late inning at bats from your 3-4-5 hitters.
Managers don’t make a difference. General managers do.
Any hitter can be an all-star for six weeks.
Guarding the lines is the baseball equivalent of the prevent defense, with comparable results.
Lefty Gomez was right. The secret IS clean living and a fast outfield. (And 3 run home runs).
Nobody ever rebuilds their way to a pennant.
The swinging high strike is a beautiful thing.
Trade fear for extra bases.
Run courageously through the 7th inning.
The person who invented the DH should be chased through the street by mobs carrying pitch forks and torches.
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February 22, 2008 at 7:11 am · Filed under Uncategorized
Brett Myers is the Phillies relief pitcher who was arrested in 2006 for striking his wife in the face and pulling her hair after they got in an argument while leaving a bar.
Why do I bring this up two years later?
Because of Myers behavior after the incident, and because the Phillies organization has never really dealt with, or even acknowledged it. Their statements after his arrest, to a man, involved concern for Myers. Nobody seemed particularly distressed by the cowardly, unmanly nature of what Myers had done. Least of all Myers.
How do you follow up hitting a woman on a public street? In 2007 Myers found a way, responding to a reporter’s question by calling the man a "f—ing retard". Myers, who apparently limits his bravado to women and much older men, had to be restrained from physically confronting the reporter.
Once again, the Phillies did nothing.
Myers has now, with the Phillies cooperation, recast himself as a merry prankster. With the cooperation of the team’s Manager and GM (there is something more than a bit ironic in that) he was part of a practical joke that involved telling a young pitcher he had been traded to Japan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPB9IglzxG8
This was widely hailed as being hilarious, and maybe it would have been amusing if it had prompted any response at all from Kyle Kendrick. But Kendrick said little or nothing, which didn’t keep Myers from responding as if he closed out the 9th inning of the World Series. "You’ve been punked!" shouted Myers.
He got that right.
Jimmy Rollins is the star of the Phillies and Brett Myers a useful, but replaceable, part. Not to hear Myers tell it. In an article on Rollins in yesterday’s "New York Times" Myers came up with this classic quote:
“It’s not an individual game. It took all of us to win. It took all of us to make him the M.V.P.”
Let’s see. Rollins batting .296 with 30 HR and 94 RBI, stole 41 bases, scored 139 runs, and turned 110 double plays. And he was MVP because of Brett Myers contributions, which included going 5-7 with a 4.33 ERA? I’m not seeing it.
Myers even took retroactive credit for Rollins prediction of a Phillies division title last year. “Some guys’ personalities are not going to come out and
try to tick people off and say, ‘Hey were the team to beat.’ But we
stood behind him because we felt like we were the team to beat. He said
it, but we believed it.”
OK. Myers is the soul of discretion and Rollins is just lucky he had a pitcher with a lifetime 4.34 ERA backing him up. Good thing for him the great Brett Myers bought into the program.
Bottom line. People make mistakes. Myers made one in 2006 and is lucky his wife didn’t press charges. Some people would take that second chance and do something with it. Brett Myers appears to have taken the Phillies non-response to that incident and the one last year with a reporter to crown himself as some sort of oracle whose opinions have some value.
They don’t.
It’s time for the Philadelphia Phillies to explain that $5 million a season gives them some rights. And one of those is NOT to have to listen to Brett Myers. Not now, not in 2009, not in 2010, and not until he grows up.
It could be a long wait.
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February 21, 2008 at 7:20 am · Filed under Uncategorized
Haven’t posted much this week. Well, I have, but it’s one of those weeks where you hit post and everything vanishes. I know, a smarter person would save their work. But you save things of great intrinsic value. Me saving one of my blog entries is like carefully preserving a Snickers wrapper.
The sad part is, some of the entries were probably the most brilliant sports writing of this century. (You’ll have to trust me on that). I also revealed who was really behind the Kennedy assassination, where Amelia Earhardt’s plane went down, and who D.B. Cooper was. It was all in the notes. If I don’t write stuff down it’s gone.
So, let’s see what has accumulated in the sports attic this week. Oops, step over that. It’s what’s left of Barry Bonds reputation. It’s small, but you can trip over it. He did. There is Roger Clemens’ credibility. You can’t? Wait a minute, it’s that little small package over there in the corner. Right about where the flashlight, no, wait a minute. Sorry, that’s Pedro Martinez’ love of animals.
The whimpering noise over in the corner? Don’t mind that. It’s just Michael Vick. He’s had some trouble adjusting to his new environment.
(CRASH). "Belichick! Dang it. I warned you about those film cans. How many rolls of film of Tony Dungy holding a clipboard up to his face does one person need? And what’s this one with the Zodiac symbol on it? You’re going to have to rent a storage building for this junk. Look at this, "2007 Giants Playbook-Property of Eli Manning". Lot of good that did you. I know, I know, you’ll clean up.
"Goodale. How many times do I have to tell you. Sweeping things under the rug IS NOT cleaning. Capice? And pick up all those bills off the floor. The next time you and PacMan Jones invite strippers up here maybe you’ll think about how much work it was to clean up afterwards."
There’s alot of busted up stuff here I don’t really need. "Hi Sid, how’s the ankle? You were a hockey player, am I right?" Speaking of hockey, that’s Dominick Hasek in the corner holding his groin. The guy puts a bullet to the brain of my roto hockey team every year, but still I just can’t get rid of the guy. That’s Kerry Woods’ arm. Every year it falls off, I put it back on, it falls off. Duct tape. Got to keep lot’s of duct tape. Maybe that’s Prior’s arm? Doesn’t matter. Anyway, put it over there next to the 1908 Cubs World Championship banner.
Here’s a bunch of college stuff. Some contracts signed by Rich Rodriquez. Worthless. He must have written those in disappearing ink. You can barely see it now, but there is a spot on the floor where Les Miles bled maize and blue. Give him credit, he got right in there with some yellow paint and now you can’t see it. Almost like it was never there.
That big steamer chest over by the door is where we planned to keep O.J. Mayo’s college accomplishments. Right now we’re storing them in that gym bag. I hope you’ll excuse the mess in this section. Bob Knight tore the place up pretty bad before he left. See that folding chair stuck in the sealing. I’m leaving it right there. Darn, I’m going to miss that guy.
This month my big idea was moving things around. Saves no space, but you feel like you’re doing something. There’s Jason Kidd. Moving him turned out to be really difficult. You wouldn’t believe the amount of baggage he had. And Shaq. Don’t get me started. Just the weight of all those rings, and Kobe Bryant’s standing there the whole time at the foot of the stairs begging me to put him somewhere else.
Well, that’s about all there is to see here. There’s a used book section, but nobody wants to see that. "Howard Cosell’s Guide To Charm", "Patience, the Most Important Virtue" by Steinbrenner, "Tanya Harding on Sportsmanship", and "Soccer Will Be America’s Pastime by 1989" by D. Luded Euro. Sell you the whole box for $1.
I’ll start writing again soon. I found the Bronze Spicy Chicken final 8 award I won in the "Next Great Sportswriter" contest. I keep it next to my autographed photo of Dirk Novitski (at least I think that’s his autograph).
You can see yourself out. Payton Manning and the soccer houligans were talking quietly when I walked by and wouldn’t make eye contact, and Isiah Thomas keeps trying to chat up Danica Patrick.
That can’t be good.
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February 17, 2008 at 7:43 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
An uninformed view on NASCAR from a casual fan who has spent the past two years trying to figure out what a "lucky dog" is.
I know the Daytona 500 is NASCAR’s Super Bowl but did the
pre-race festivities have to go on as long as the run up to the XLII? When Michael McDonald sang the line in ‘Takin’
It To The Streets’ “I was raised here in this living hell.” I thought he was
talking about the pre-game entertainment.
For entertainers there are three stages. Life, death, and the career near death
experience of performing at sporting events.
Message to Chubby Checker, McDonald, and Brooks & Dunn. It’s over.
I’m cursed. Every
year I do FOX NASCAR Fantasy Racing and every year stuff like this
happens. Today I had Jeff Gordon, Kyle
Busch, Jeff Burton, and Clint Bowyer. I
ask you, what are the odds of Jeff Gordon finishing 39th?
Kyle Busch had the best ride of anyone in the field but
couldn’t get there at the end. Bowyer
had good moments and bad luck, and Burton
pulled the biggest vanishing act since Harry Houdini after taking the lead near
the end.
I have a degree in economics (I thought women were into
economists. Who knew?) and they taught
us about spurious correlation. That’s
where you tie an outcome to an unrelated event.
Here is mine. As soon as Jeff
Burton took the lead FOX started showing his wife and then he disappeared.
Now this happens with husbands and wives at times, but it
shouldn’t be allowed to happen down the stretch at Daytona. Hereafter Mrs. Burton should be sent to the
concession stand until he closes the deal.
My favorite driver is Tony Stewart. Compared to the other drivers he’s a Jack
Daniels in a shot glass on a bar lined with skim milk in paper cups. One more reason? He finds a way to compete when things aren’t
clicking. Today his ride wasn’t there,
but he still was in third and looking for ways to win at the end. That’s the definition of a winner.
Why do bad things always happen within 15 feet of Pablo
Montoya? Even when he’s not at fault he’s
close enough for everyone to think he must have been involved.
It’s just the opposite with Sam Harnisch Jr. He came over from the Indy circuit and had a
good, clean ride that kept him competitive without becoming a menace to
navigation. He’s one to watch this
year.
Casey Mears may be about to have a big season. Ran up around five late in the race before
being set back by an accident. If he
keeps riding that close to the front good things will happen.
Good start for the FOX announcers. They manage to stay out of the way of the
race but step in with concise insights that add to your understanding of the
action. How many times do you hear that
about sportscasters? And Darrell Waltrip’s
comments about passing the point where #3 crashed were well said without being
overly sentimental.
NASCAR isn’t perfect, and it’s sure not what the executives
running the show hoped it would become.
But on a Thursday in February it was sure a welcome sight.
And finally, Jimmie Johnson.
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February 16, 2008 at 7:08 am · Filed under Uncategorized
Basketball is immediate. It’s the youth game, the TV game, and along with the NFL the media favorite. Internationally, it is the one American sport culturally accessible to the masses and acceptable to the elites.
It just doesn’t have history. Not the way baseball does. Baseball has over a hundred years of stats, a century of legends, a sense of place and time. Enough to make debates over membership in the Baseball Hall of Fame intense and passionate. To make membership in the Hall of Fame something special. The fulfillment of a life long ambition.
This week the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame (yes, it’s really called that) announced 15 finalists for election later this year. America yawned and went back to watching American Idol, even those among us whose TV sets have become a spike stuck into the vein of our sports addiction. I’m guessing even hard core basketball fans either didn’t notice this news or didn’t much care.
Why? Beyond history the NMBBHOF (sounds like somewhere you’d get your taxes done or order waffles) is all things to all people. There are four separate branches feeding into the ballot. The North American Committee, the Veterans Committee, the Women’s Committee, and the International Committee.
Which makes sense in the context of the Naismith Museum’s mission to educate people about the sport. But it lumps the NBA, the NCAA men’s, NCAA women’s, WNBA, and international game together. What you get is a Hall of Fame class like this one from 2007:
Van Chancellor, Pedro Ferrandiz, Phil Jackson, Mirko Novosel, Mendy Rudolph, the Texas Western Team, and Roy WIlliams. Six names, three of which you might have heard of. No players of note. (By way of information for younger readers, the Texas Western team changed basketball by defeating Kentucky for the NCAA championship in 1966 with an integrated roster.)
It is unlikely anyone debated the 2007 selections or even much noticed them. Roy Williams and Phil Jackson were the "names" of the class, and dominated the scant media coverage.
This year’s class at least has some star power. Hakeem Olajuwon, Pat Riley, Patrick Ewing, Dennis Johnson, Don Nelson, Adrian Dantley, Chris Mullin, Don Nelson, and Dick Vitale crowd the ballot.
There are ten choices (which include the big names) on the North American ballot and you need 18 votes to get in. There is a lone candidate on the women’s ballot, two on the veteran’s ballot, and two names on the international ballot.
That makes Cathy Rush alot more likely to enter the Hall than than Adrian Dantley. Rush won three straight national titles at Immaculate in the 70’s, but only coached seven seasons. On a ballot with one name it will take seven blank ballots to keep Rush out of the Hall.
Kerr and Richie Guerin are the only names on the veteran’s ballot. Kerr is a Chicago basketball legend as an announcer, and played and coached in the NBA during the late fifties and sixties. Guerin was a contemporary of Kerr. Definitely a better player, possibly a better coach. But he’s been away from the spotlight and Kerr is a continuing TV presence. Kerr has been a finalist for three years running, so he’ll probably make it this time.
The international committee has sent a player or coach in every year since 2001 and will probably name Togo Soares this year. He’s a coaching legend in Latin America and deserves the honor.
Ewing and Olajuwon should go in this year, but haven’t been finalists yet. It should be Dick Vitale’s year. Pat Riley might have a shot. But Adrian Dantley, a prolific scorer at Notre Dame and in the NBA might be left on the bench again. He’s been a finalist for six of the last seven years, and something tells me the small core voting against him by leaving his name off isn’t going to relent.
Despite the awkward process, the Hall does seem to get things right. If you look at the list of enshrinees it is difficult to argue with who is in, or more importantly identify worthy candidates left out.
http://www.hoophall.com/halloffamers/bhof-halloffamers-alpha.html
A few names stood out among the missing. Charlie Scott, a great player at UNC under Dean Smith and the first great black athlete at that school. Bernard King, a scoring machine at Tennessee and the pros. Artis Gilmore and Mel Daniels, two great ABA centers. Roger Brown of the Indiana Pacers also should be there for sure.
So what should be different? There should be more research done and more finalists to choose from on the women’s and international ballots. And there should be a bigger pool of voters and a different criteria for selection off the North American ballot.
None of this will do as much for the Hall as what will be done next year. Michael Jordan will have been out of the NBA for 5 years and become eligible. This will bring the ultimate star power to bear on the ceremonies and maybe put the Hall, if not on the map, at least somewhere in the arena.
The basketball hall will never have the glory of Cooperstown. But it’s an interesting discussion. Plus, you can win a bunch of bar bets taking money from people who won’t realize Michael Jordan IS NOT in the basketball hall of fame.
That’s worth something.
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February 14, 2008 at 4:52 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
Are the error messages I get the same ones everyone else gets when their blog crashes, or is it something I should take personally? Kind of like when someone commented on one of my soccer rants by saying “This is why Europe hates you.” Europe hates me AND my blog is a zero sized object.
What is a zero sized object? If it was truly zero sized it wouldn’t exist and therefore would not be an object. I think, therefore John Rocker. Right?
It’s like the Memphis Grizzlies. They are a zero sized object. On the one hand, they are in the standings, and therefore must exist. On the other they exert no gravity, have no influence on any of the other planets in the NBA orbit.
The Grizz (it’s a new thing, we’ll see if it catches on) leave Vancouver in the dead of night and show up in Memphis, a travel path normally reserved for gun merchants and bad lounge acts. Do they get a cool new name? No. They remain the Grizzlies.
But there are no Grizzlies in Memphis. You don’t see them roaming nocturnally down Beale Street looking for a good time (”Hey baby, want to hibernate?”) They aren’t out at Graceland visiting the twenty-four hour, three hundred sixty-six day a year gift shop. And you don’t see Grizzlies chasing down the Peabody Ducks.
No Grizzlies in Memphis. And not much of a basketball team.
Which brings us to Pau Gasol. As bad as the Grizzlies are, at least they had Pau Gasol to build around. Young, athletic, a big guy who could score. Gasol and a few good drafts and maybe you get something going.
Or you could give one of the most talented young players in the league away to the Lakers. Which brings us to David Stern.
Word is Memphis didn’t entertain offers for Gasol from any team Jack Nicholson doesn’t have season tickets to. Seems odd. Because you could easily dangle a player with Gasol’s skill set in front of several teams and run the asking price up to a couple of productive young players and high draft choices.
What did Memphis get? The legend that is Kwame Brown, rookie Javaris Crittendon, two first round draft picks, Aaron McKie, and the rights to Gasol’s younger brother.
Gasol for Kwame Brown. Unbelievable.
Brown is actually one of the most famous players in the NBA. Ask any NBA fan. They all know Kwame Brown. The famous bust. Michael Jordan’s second biggest mistake (read the tabloids). If they wrote a book about Brown’s career, the title would be “20 Minutes A Game: But It Seemed Like A Lifetime”.
Which leads me to a conspiracy theory. I’ve never trusted the NBA when it comes to the New York and Los Angeles franchises. Ping pong balls bounce their way at draft time, rules are bent pretzel shape. The Lakers and Knicks are looked out for.
Here’s what I think happened in the Gasol deal. The Lakers have Kobe Bryant and need one more player (capitalized) to contend. The league needs the LA market, the numbers and the buzz. They need Showtime to return to Los Angeles.
Memphis was drawing about 12,000 a night before the trade. After the fans see Brown in action a few games they will look back on 12K a night as a fond memory. Trading away your biggest draw makes no sense.
Unless you’re taking on water financially. In which case you might need a line of credit on friendly terms to keep going. You might want to throw your hat in the Oklahoma City sweepstakes. You might need help finding new investors.
The NBA would hate to see you go under. Not because they care about Memphis (or Seattle, or Charlotte, or Oklahoma City, or New Orleans). No, they’d hate to see your roster end up going through a dispersal draft. Inconvenient things happen in dispersal drafts. Like Gasol ending up in Atlanta or Indiana.
So Stern tells you he’s your buddy. Your pal. If things keep going badly he’ll stand by you. Help find investors, or a buyer, or a new market. Work up a friendly line of credit. Give you time to regroup. There’s just one thing your new found friend wants.
Pau Gasol in Los Angeles.
Crazy? Sometimes it gets that way in Memphis.
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February 8, 2008 at 6:40 pm · Filed under Uncategorized
The Baltimore Orioles panic sell off of Eric Bedard should be a lesson to Oriole fans. Sometimes you have to rebuild and think of the future.
Imagine this conversation.
(Orioles ticket rep) "We see you haven’t renewed your season tickets yet. We’re excited about the upcoming season and hope that…."
(Orioles fan) I won’t be renewing my tickets, I’m rebuilding.
(Orioles ticket rep) "I don’t understand."
(Orioles fan) You should. Didn’t Andy McPhail say trading Eric Bedard was a move for the future?
(Orioles ticket department) "Yes, Sir, we’re very excited about the trade for Adam Jones. We think in a few years he’ll be one of the most exciting young players in the league."
(Orioles fan) When Mr. McPhail said that it just made so much sense to me. The Orioles are like my bank account. I don’t think my money is going to turn into good seats this season. You guys won’t be able to get out of last place in the AL East and I won’t be able to get out of the upper deck. But if I hold onto the money I was going to spend on Orioles tickets it might develop into something bigger. Like money to buy Redskins tickets.
(Orioles ticket rep) "But what about this season?"
(Orioles fan) Oh, I think you’ll lose 95 games.
(Orioles ticket rep) "No, I mean your tickets."
(Orioles fan) You mean the tickets to see the Orioles lose 95 games.
(Orioles ticket rep) "Yes, I mean no. I mean you want to get in on the ground floor as the Orioles get ready to return to their glory days."
(Orioles fan) Back when they had great pitching?
(Orioles ticket rep) "Yes like Palmer, McNally, Cuellar, and Dobson."
(Orioles fan) I don’t think so. You can’t even afford one good pitcher, let alone four.
(Orioles ticket rep) "But TIllman might be the next Eric Bedard!"
(Orioles fan) But you already had an Eric Bedard?
(Orioles ticket rep) "He was young and talented and would have left in two years anyway."
(Orioles fan) But why would he leave? You just got through telling me how great things would be in a few years.
(Orioles ticket rep) "But, if we didn’t get rid of Bedard how would we ever find the next Bedard."
(Orioles fan) The one you just traded? Seems to me if you kept Bedard, you could have developed the next Adam Jones.
(Orioles ticket rep) "But Jones isn’t ready yet."
(Orioles fan) But you want me to buy tickets to see him now?
(Orioles ticket rep) "Yes! So, you can be in on the ground floor when the Orioles magic returns!"
(Orioles fan) When?
(Orioles ticket rep) "In three years."
(Orioles fan) So call me then.
(Orioles ticket rep) "When?"
(Orioles fan) In three years. Are you new at this, you sure don’t seem to understand how this rebuilding stuff works. Can I ask you a question?
(Orioles ticket rep) "I don’t think so. Not unless it’s about seats."
(Orioles fan) It is.
(Orioles ticket rep) "OK."
(Orioles fan) Since you’re rebuilding with cheaper players would my seats be cheaper this year?
(Orioles ticket rep) "No, there will be some upward price adjustments."
(Orioles) So you can afford to not pay Eric Bedard what he was going to make three years from now?
(Orioles ticket rep) "No, yes, I don’t think I said what you thought I meant when you said what I said in response to what you were saying."
(Orioles) Are you on some kind of medication?
(Orioles ticket rep) "NO. I AM JUST TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW WE ARE RAISING PRICES FOR CHEAPER PLAYERS IN ORDER TO REPLACE THE ONES WE CAN’T PAY WHO ARE GOING TO LEAVE US ANYWAY AND GO PLAY FOR THE YANKEES OR RED SOX AND WILL DEVELOP INTO PLAYERS WE WON’T BE ABLE TO AFFORD IN THE FUTURE.
WE’RE GOING TO LOSE THIS YEAR, AND NEXT YEAR, AND THE YEAR AFTER THAT. WE’LL NEVER WIN AND WE’LL NEVER LOWER YOUR PRICES AND I AM NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO SELL ANY HORSE FEATHERS TICKETS TO SEE THIS HORSE FEATHERS TEAM.
I’M JUST TRYING TO MAKE A LIVING. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOO………………"
(Orioles fan) I’m sorry I upset you. Sure, I’ll buy some tickets.
(Orioles ticket rep) "You will. That’s great. Look, I’m sorry about that. Now, how many can I put you down for?"
(Orioles fan) Well, I think I’ll take two for that three game series with the Mariners. You see they’ve get that guy you wouldn’t pay. Eric Bedard. And….
(Orioles ticket rep) AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Dial Tone)
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