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December 1, 2008 at 7:47 pm · Filed under 1
Plaxico Fife?nbsp; Barney Burress?nbsp; I wonder if he just had the one bullet?br /br /The headlines also say quot;Pierce probedquot;.nbsp; Darned aliens.br /br /I want to believe the Cowboys will make the playoffs.nbsp; I don’t believe the Cowboys will make the playoffs.nbsp; br /br /The Tennessee Volunteers have Lane Kiffin and probably deserve him.nbsp; Someone should tell Skippy you don’t start your new job whining about the boss at your old job.nbsp; News flash-Kiffin will meet alot worse people than Al Davis in the SEC.br /br /Fire Charlie Weis?nbsp; Then what?nbsp; br /br /It isn’t a question of whether Texas or Oklahoma belongs in the Big 12 title game.nbsp; The real outrage is an insane conference title system that puts either team up against Missouri (5-3 in the conference).nbsp; Say Missouri wins. What have they won?nbsp; They will be conference champions but go to a lesser bowl than a team (Texas) that isn’t.br /br /Stephon Marbury isn’t the problem.nbsp; The NBA salary cap has created more bad marraiges than teenage pregnancy.nbsp; And who forced the Knicks to pay $12 million a year to mediocre off guard who needs the ball like Hilary Clinton needs TV coverage?nbsp; br /br /LeBron James throws talcum powder into the air.nbsp; Wow!nbsp; Genius, pure genius.nbsp; I haven’t been this inspired since they served us baloney for lunch in grade school.nbsp; Quick, where do I go to buy the shoes?br /br /If Rickey Henderson isn’t elected to the Hall of Fame on the first ballot they should board up the place.nbsp; How good was Henderson?nbsp; Nearly as good in his era as Ty Cobb was in his.br /br /Need some free agent baseball signings.nbsp; br /br /What is it with ESPN?nbsp; They even play those imitation Ted Nugent guitar riffs in the background when no highlight film is running.nbsp; Do I really need to hear heavy metal in the background when they are talking about waiving a third string NBA forward?nbsp; Imagine CBS showing a graph of the Dow Jones average plummeting with Katie Couric doing a voice over while quot;Rock Me Like A Hurricanequot; plays in the background.br /br /Sunday I heard the Carolina Panthers game with Green Bay on the radio.nbsp; Late in the game there was a crucial timeout and you could hear quot;The Seekerquot; by the Who on the PA system.nbsp; Sure fires up a defense to hear a song with lines like, quot;You’re looking at me, I’m looking at you, we’re looking at each other and we don’t know what to do.quot;br /br /Meanwhile, here in North Carolina all the leaves are brown and the sky is gray.br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /brbra href=”http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Dudski/2008/12/01/Monday_Monday#comments”2 Comments/a
November 30, 2008 at 8:11 pm · Filed under 1
Still no word from the FDA on approval of the controversial Plaxico Burress treatment for hamstring injuries.nbsp; We have learned, though,nbsp; the TV show quot;Housequot; will feature an episode later this season in which House attempts to cure his leg injury using the Burress method, shooting Dr. Wilson in the process.br /br /Calling it the quot;unfortunate result of a printing mixupquot;, The National Enquirer retracted a story which claimed Angelina Jolie was taunting Jeniffer Anniston by leaving messages with Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo.nbsp; Jessica Simpson, shopping in the ammunition department of a Fort Worth WalMart, had no comment for reporters.br /br /Also in football the Detroit Lions and Cincinnati Bengals have now been mathematically eliminated from bowl eligibility.br /br /Nike unveils a new ad showing Willis Reed morphing into Walt Frazier, who turns into Earl Monroe, who throws a handful of stars across the New York skyline, which is caught by Patrick Ewing who is transformed into Charles Oakley who throws a floor length pass from New York to Cleveland where it caught by LeBron James who leaps across Ohio and Pennsylvania, shooting through the night sky like a falling star and landing (in a Knicks uniform) at center court in Madison Square Garden where he dribbles down court and dunks a basketball through the rim, shattering the goal, causing the Empire State Building to sway back and forth.nbsp; Cavaliers coach Mike Brown says the ad quot;won’t be a distractionquot; and James restated that he has yet to make up his mind where he will sign in 2010 and is focused on taking the Cavaliers to the NBA title.br /br /Treasury Secretary Paulson is quoted as being quot;frankly surprised and a little disappointedquot; that bailout funds for the CitiGroup not only went to securing naming rights to the Mets new stadium, but also funded the acquisition of Angels closer Francisco Rodriquez to take the place of Billy Wagner.nbsp; quot;I really thought they needed a left handed power bat morequot; said Paulson.br /br /The Orioles talks with the Chicago Cubs as part of a three way deal that would send Jake Peavy to Chicago broke down today when Baltimore management learned the Cubs were talking about including Felix Pie in the deal and not a deep dish Chicago style pizza pie.nbsp; br /br /Elsewhere, the Philadelphia Phillies will take 46 year old lefthander Jamie Moyer to arbitration.nbsp; A spokesman for AARP, which represents Moyer, said talks broke down over the Phillies reluctance to allow Moyer to enter games on his own personalized scooter.nbsp; quot;We explained to them if Medicare didn’t cover it the Phillies wouldn’t owe anything, but they still wouldn’t go for it.quot; said the AARP representative.br /br /Police are reporting that tips are coming in as a result of pictures of the National Hockey League being placed on milk cartons, along with a 1-800 number to call.nbsp; The NHL may have been seen driving north out of Buffalo, New York on a zamboni.nbsp; Other callers report having seen the NHL in Nashville, Raleigh, and Tampa but these are believed to be crank calls.br /br /And finally, doctors in West Virginia are reported a sharp increase in accidents where the patient has slid off of their chair convulsed with laughter.nbsp; These incidents began when a Charleston TV station ran a special thirty minute highlight show featuring the 2008 University of Michigan football team under former WVA coach Rich Rodriquez.nbsp; quot;It’s bafflingquot; said one doctor, quot;it would appear that prolonged laughter has resulted in the entire gluteus maximus falling away from their bodies.quot;br /br /And that’s all the sports news that isn’t.br /br /br /br /nbsp;nbsp; br /br /br /brbra href=”http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Dudski/2008/11/30/All_the_Sports_News_That_Isnt#comments”No Comments/a
November 28, 2008 at 11:09 am · Filed under 1
Every winter we go through this dance.br /br /Scott Boras signs premier free agents as clients, delivers them to a select few teams and markets, and sets the salary bar at new levels.nbsp; The next year arbitrators factor in the Boras driven salaries and the market rises again.nbsp; br /br /Fans in Baltimore, Atlanta, St. Louis, and Houston won’t ever see a Boras free agent playing for their teams.nbsp; Good baseball cities all, but not major market teams with unlimited budgets.nbsp; And if you’re a fan in Kansas City, Tampa Bay, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, or Minnesota don’t even think about it.nbsp; The only way you’ll get to see Mark Teixiera or Manny Ramirez next season is when the RedSox, Angels, or Yankees come to town.br /br /Which is not to criticize Scott Boras.nbsp; Just as a rising tide lifts all boats, the money he gets for the elite free agents gets factored a year later into arbitrator’s salary decisions.nbsp; If you’re a major league player you have to love, or at least respect, Boras.br /br /Owners probably have a Scott Boras doll around the house with pins sticking in it.nbsp; And fans ultimately pay the freight for his success in higher ticket prices, not to mention seeing the best young players constantly make their way to the axis of evil (New York/Boston, Chicago, Anaheim/Los Angeles).br /br /But it doesn’t have to be this way.nbsp; br /br /With free agency only available to players with six years or more in the majors, and only a fraction of those players being diffrerence makers, a Scott Boras can do what the Hunt brothers attempted years ago in the silver market.nbsp; Take advantage of scarcity to corner the market.nbsp; Dictate terms.br /br /Major League baseball could counteract all this not by trying to negotiate stricter free agency terms, but by creating more free agents.nbsp; Not only would this dilute Boras influence, but it might also bring a rational basis for salaries.br /br /If MLB suddenly declared all players free agents beyond whatever term existed in their contract it would not drive up salaries.nbsp; The same amount of money would be out there chasing larger numbers of players.nbsp; And arbitration, the real driver in player salary increases, would cease to exist.nbsp; br /br /Wouldn’t this mean the Yankees would buy up all the best talent, just sooner?nbsp; Not really.nbsp; Because the Yankees would have to evaluate free agents based on fewer years worth of data.nbsp; As it now stands, secondary market teams develop players to the point where they have established track records.nbsp; The big spenders don’t take much risk in paying out large contracts because they know what they are getting.br /br /What if the high rollers had to make these decisions on 23 year old players instead of 28 year olds?nbsp; Now you have an element of uncertainty and the winners in this system would be the teams who best evaluated talent and made good decisions about which younger players to lock in with long terms contracts.br /br /The amount of money players made wouldn’t change much, but which players got the money would.nbsp; The current system cheats productive young players and rewards older players who often don’t produce for their arbitration or free agency set salaries.nbsp; It would be difficult for the Player’s Association to make a case uagainst/u a free agency system that holds down salaries for a large group of players to benefit a small group of players represented by a few agents.br /br /Which brings us to the amature draft.nbsp; Why have it?nbsp; The current system doesn’t actually evenly distribute talent because the Latin American market isn’t even covered, and small market teams get warned off the best young talent by agents like Boras.br /br /If the draft is continued, then negotiate standardized contracts based on draft position.nbsp; Another alternative would be add a quot;development costquot; rider to the first free agent contract players signed with any team other than the one which drafted them.nbsp; This would give teams an incentive to sign their home grown talent.br /br /With the economy going in the tank, baseball needs to stop complaining about free agency and embrace it fully.nbsp; It may be the best chances some teams have to survive.nbsp; br /brbra href=”http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Dudski/2008/11/28/Beating_Boras#comments”No Comments/a
November 26, 2008 at 9:02 pm · Filed under 1
I often eat in the bar portion of restaurants.br /br /I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs so dullness is a kind of birthright.nbsp; But eating in bars allows me to begin wildly exaggerated stories with lines like, quot;There was this night in a dim, smokey bar in Memphis.quot;nbsp; (True story)br /br /You meet interesting people in bars.nbsp; Take a few Saturdays ago.nbsp; I met a man who could evaluate the mental capacity of a person two hundred miles away by observing them on television.br /br /This particular gentleman was a Clemson fan, and watching them play Duke he made the determination that a quarterback named Cullen Harper had an IQ of between 50 and 69.nbsp; I know this because after an incomplete pass he looked at the TV above the bar and referred to Harper by a descriptive term for persons whose IQ falls into that range.br /br /I was surprised, as Cullen Harper seems like a bright guy in interviews, and is attending a challenging university.nbsp; But who am I to argue with one of the great minds of our time?nbsp; br /br /The mentalist who evaluated the Clemson QB was an interesting sort in other ways.nbsp; He was dressed in orange, the Clemson colors.nbsp; I’m thinking that is because there is a visual component to this process.nbsp; He not only evaluates the player’s ability to think and reason, but always must be able to make himself somehow visible at great distance to the player being evaluated.br /br /This is a critical point.nbsp; Because when the player hears a voice telling him his IQ is much less than previously imagined, it is important the evaluator be dressed in orange so he will know it is a voice of true authority and not some nutcase fan of the Akron Zips making random psychic connections in some sort of mental telemarketing scheme.br /br /Questions come to mind.nbsp; Is this the only Clemson find capable of reaching out and performing an in game mind meld?nbsp; Are multiple Tigers hearing from guys in multiple bars all over the Southeast?nbsp; And do the players have mental call waiting, or a mental hold button?nbsp; quot;Sorry, Bob, going to have to get back to about my mental incompetence.nbsp; Got two linebackers up in the box and, what’s this, there’s a safety nicknamed quot;Dr. Doomquot; headed right by where the full back was supposed to be.nbsp; Gotta run.quot;br /br /And what about Charlie Weis?nbsp; If this sort of thing is going on with Clemson players, Weis’ lines must be so jammed his head will soon explode.nbsp; (Even as I write this I understand there is a mass gathering in a square in South Bend where 12,500 Irish fans are all holding hands and envisioning just that.br /br /I shouldn’t have been surprised.nbsp; Saturday night I was at the Wake Forest-Boston College game and a tweedy college professor type was speaking in a level, but clearly audible voice to the Deacons quarterback Brian Skinner.nbsp; I’m unclear how Skinner was supposed to be hearing this lecture, mostly about the urgency to quot;Throw the ball.nbsp; uThrow the ball/u.nbsp; THROW THE BALL!quot; but I’m thinking the professor must be speaking in a range that only dogs, quarterbacks, and the poor schnooks in his section could hear.br /br /He wasn’t alone.nbsp; There was the man who was capable of detecting holding on the opposite side of the field, even when the official standing a few yards away missed it.nbsp; (Just ask him, he’ll gladly share his opinions).nbsp; Then there was the sport who was willing to make a sporting wager on the social habits of one of the cheerleaders based on seeing her from 300 feet away.br /br /It’s universal in sports.nbsp; Go to any hockey game and you’ll find a contingent of fans behind the goals who somehow have looked at the visiting goalie and determined that he engages in non-traditional practices vaguely associated with the reproductive process.nbsp; There are opthamologists attending baseball games and making diagnosis from the stands (did you realize that fully 73% of all umpires are blind?)br /br /As for me, I gave up trying to communicate with distant players and officials by means of the TV after a traumatic childhood experience.nbsp; As a newly minted Dallas Cowboy fan I watched Jerry Kramer go offside as Bart Starr snuck over the frozen turf at Lambeau Stadium.nbsp; Although just I child, I immediately spoke to the officials through the television, demanding the play be called back.br /br /Surprisingly I was ignored.br /br /br /br /br /br /brbra href=”http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Dudski/2008/11/26/The_Smartest_Guys_In_the_World#comments”No Comments/a
November 23, 2008 at 7:16 pm · Filed under 1
font face=tahoma,arial,helvetica,sans-serif size=2I was reading the New York Times and thinking about John Wayne. br /br /nbsp;And baseball.nbsp; br /br /And the Mets pitching problems.br /br /I
think about baseball a lot.nbsp; And not in the Woody Allen movie sort of
way.nbsp; Although, ironically many New Yorkers now delay pleasure by
thinking about baseball.br /br /Take the Times baseball writers.nbsp; Next
to think pieces about whether Hilary can coexist with Barack, the one
story you can always find in the NYT is an essay on the Mets bullpen.nbsp; br /br /The
stories run along the same lines, tracing Hilary’s place in the line of
succession (batting #4 in case you are wondering) or working backward
from the closer to the Mets 6th inning.nbsp; Which leaves you thinking you
don’t want to be at the state of the union address if Hil is out of
town at the time, and you
can head for the parking lot as soon as Luis Ayala starts
loosening up.br //fontfont face=tahoma,arial,helvetica,sans-serifnbsp;br /According to the latest Times article, signing Francisco
Rodriquez to close (if that happens) is only part of the problem.nbsp; You
have to find someone to fill the other 493 innings and 557 appearances (an
average of .89 innings).br //fontp class=MsoNormalfont face=tahoma,arial,helvetica,sans-serif size=2
I’m reading this and I ask myself, as so often I do-What would John Wayne do?br /br /
What would the Duke do, surrounded by starters who can’t gonbsp; more than
five innings and right handed relievers who have to be pulled after two batters
because they have seen a left handed batter and must flee in fright to
clubhouse to lie down?br /br /
I have this mental image of Aaron Heilman saying,nbsp; quot;My word, ah do
believe ah have the vapors Mr. Manuel, I must take my leave or I’ll
swoon.nbsp; I have pitched already to three batsmen.quot;nbsp; Which is
better than the actual image of him dousing the Mets 8th inning in kerosene and
spontaneously combusting, as so often is the case in real life.br /br /Wayne would go to the mound, look
Heilmann in the eye, and say something supportive like quot;There’s right and there’s wrong. You got a do
one or the other. You do the one and you’re living. You do the other and you
may be walking around, but you’re dead as a beaver hat.quot;nbsp; And
then leave him in the game.br /br /
I doubt Wayne would have much use
for Pedro Martinez, John Maine, and Oliver Perez either.nbsp; None of them
averaged even six innings innings as starters.nbsp; Which nobody seems to
notice as a cause for all the bullpen related anxiety.br /br /
Sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.nbsp; Sure, you find yourself
in a tight spot, but you got there on your own two feet and you’re going to
have to walk out that way or accept what follows.br /br /
With a fire brigade of pyromaniacs like the Mets had in 2008, common sense
requires that starters stay on the mound through the 7th if only to keep the
firm of Schoenwiess, Bradford, Sanchez, Feliciano, and Smith safely out of
harms way.br /br /
The key to fixing the Mets bullpen lies with the starters.nbsp; FInd out which
ones have the heart to keep the ball when the going gets tough.nbsp; Lose the
mindset that requires five pitchers a night and a seven man bullpen.br /br /
Listen to the words of the old sage.nbsp; quot;Well, there are some things a
man just can’t run from.quot;nbsp; (Like two on and two out in the
sixth.)nbsp; quot;All battles are fought by scared men who would rather be
somewhere else.quot;nbsp; (Like Philadelphia).nbsp;
quot;Out here a man settles his own problems.quot;nbsp; br /br /
quot;Sorry don’t get it done, dude.quot;br /br /
Odds are the Mets won’t listen to John Wayne, or me, or the Times.nbsp; The Mets will spend a fortune on Rodriquez and fill in around him with a new set
of bargain bin treasures./font
font face=tahoma,arial,helvetica,sans-serifbr /br /
It’s like the man said, quot;Life is tough, but it’s tougher when you’re
stupid.quot;/font
/p
br /br /a href=http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/23/sports/baseball/23mets.html?_r=1amp;scp=1amp;sq=mets%20bullpenamp;st=cse/abr /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /brbra href=”http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Dudski/2008/11/23/John_Wayne_and_the_Mets_Pitching_Staff#comments”No Comments/a
November 22, 2008 at 10:08 pm · Filed under 1
Start with this.nbsp; There were 17 punts.br /br /Seventeen punts.nbsp; Two fumble recoveries for touchdowns.nbsp; An interception returned for a six.nbsp; A blocked punt leading to a spectacular one yard TD pass.br /br /Did I mention the 17 punts?nbsp; Just checking.br /br /It was 38 degrees at the start of the game.nbsp; Then it got cold.nbsp; Packer fans are reading this and calling ACC football fans wimps.nbsp; There is a reason for that.br /br /We are.br /br /ACC football is tailgating and cheerleaders without parkas.nbsp; People passing out in the stands.nbsp; From the heat, or from the drinking because of the heat.nbsp; Or maybe just the drinking.br /br /It’s a Drive By Truckers kind of lifestyle, not lifeboat scenes from quot;Titanicquot;. br /br /One fan wore a huge fur hat, which may or may not have at one point been his family pet, and may or may not still have been alive.nbsp; At first I thought he was with a Mamas and Papas tribute band, but not seeing a corresponding Mama Cass lookalike, I figure he just had climatic issues of some sort.br /br /Wake Forest started the season thinking Top 10 and a major bowl.nbsp; Now?nbsp; Try a Letterman list of Top 10 list of things not to do with a football, and an invitation to the Bob’s Lube World Bowl in Fargo on December 19th (broadcast on tape delay on the Lifetime Women’s Network).br /br /Most of the problem is with the offense, last seen on a milk carton with an 1-800 number below it’s picture.nbsp; One hundred ninety-one yards in total offense, including the world’s largest collection of four yard turn out patterns, two interceptions, and a questionable deep throw that turned over the ball on 4th and 5 with 29 seconds left.nbsp; br /br /The single longest Wake Forest run of the night was by the kid with the huge Wake Forest flag.nbsp; He made 60 on that one, 40 going back.nbsp; I timed him.nbsp; Eighteen seconds total over 100 yards.nbsp; Now, this is probably just residual ill will from the losing effort, but I expect more at the college level.br /br /That kid should have made the run in 14 seconds.nbsp; Heck, in the SEC, they have kids who can run the 100 with a 15 foot flag in 9.7 seconds.nbsp; Sure, there are steroids involved, and the kid already has three b amp; e convictions, but that is what big time college football is about.br /br /Oh yeah, the football game.nbsp; There were some impressive moments.nbsp; Like the Mark Herzlich highlight real.nbsp; Herzlich is a manster sort of linebacker for BC with a mohawk haircut, more face paint than Al Jolson, and the ability to leap short offensive tackles with a single bound.nbsp; Which he did, literally jumping over a Wake Forest lineman and picking off a Riley Skinner pass for the first touchdown of the game.br /br /At this point it was 13-0.nbsp; Then Boston College’s quarterback Chris Crane broke his collarbone.nbsp; His replacement, Dominique Davis, promptly rolled out and made the play of the game. Confronted with Wake’s Alphonso Smith, Davis did what any sensible person would do.nbsp; He attempted to fall to his knees and released the football, which Wake Forest ran in to make it 13-7.nbsp; br /br /Just before the half, the Deacons had the ball picked off again by Herzlich, setting up a field goal which made it 16-7.nbsp; In turn, this set upnbsp; the 105th consecutive Wake Forest band tribute to James Brown. nbsp; br /br /At this point, you had to figure no football player in America could get Wake back into the game.nbsp; Fortunately, Boston College had that player in Domique Davis.nbsp; On the first BC possession of the second half he fumbled his way into another Wake Forest touchdown, making it 16-14.br /br /The rest of the 3rd quarter was a punt, pass, and kick contest without the passing and kicking.nbsp; Then, the home team blocked a punt, setting up a one yard touchdown pass by Skinner and a 21-16 lead.nbsp; Victory was in sight.br /br /Then it wasn’t.br /br /Davis had spent most of the game, the parts he wasn’t fumbling, throwing passes with a crazy corkscrew flutter.nbsp; But with just over 2 minutes remaining, he threw a nice tight spiral to Rich Gunnell for 36 yards, followed it with a 21 yard laser beam to the 1, and snuck over with 1:21 left for a 24-21 after a two point conversion.br /br /Pessimists would have headed for the parking lot.nbsp; Lesser men would have turned their heads.nbsp; Being too cold, and too morbidly curious not to look away, I sat frozen as the last chance pass bounced away and BC headed home victorious.br /br /Disappointing?nbsp; Yes.nbsp; But I did get to see two T-38’s roar over during the pre-game flyover.nbsp; And there was a sideline reporter who reminded us all of why you should carry binoculars with you to football games.nbsp; And there was the Boston College sideline crew you nearly set their bench on fire with a sideline heater, demonstrating once more how why we were able to hang in for four years during the War of Yankee Agression.br /br /It was the best of games.nbsp; It was the worst of games.br /br /But it was football, and some nights that has to be enough.br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /brbra href=”http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Dudski/2008/11/22/View_From_The_34Boston_College_23_Wake_Forest#comments”No Comments/a
November 22, 2008 at 10:08 pm · Filed under 1
Start with this.nbsp; There were 17 punts.br /br /Seventeen punts.nbsp; Two fumble recoveries for touchdowns.nbsp; An interception returned for six.nbsp; A blocked punt leading to a spectacular one yard TD pass.br /br /Did I mention the 17 punts?nbsp; Just checking.br /br /It was 38 degrees at the start of the game.nbsp; Then it got cold.nbsp; Packer fans are reading this and calling ACC football fans wimps.nbsp; There is a reason for that.br /br /We are.br /br /ACC football is tailgating and cheerleaders without parkas.nbsp; People passing out in the stands.nbsp; From the heat, or from the drinking because of the heat.nbsp; Or maybe just the drinking.br /br /It’s a Drive By Truckers kind of lifestyle, not lifeboat scenes from quot;Titanicquot;. br /br /One fan wore a huge fur hat, which may or may not have at one point been his family pet, and may or may not still have been alive.nbsp; At first I thought he was with a Mamas and Papas tribute band, but not seeing a corresponding Mama Cass lookalike, I figure he just had climatic issues of some sort.br /br /Wake Forest started the season thinking Top 10 and a major bowl.nbsp; Now?nbsp; Try a Letterman list of Top 10 list of things not to do with a football, and an invitation to the Bob’s Lube World Bowl in Fargo on December 19th (broadcast on tape delay on the Lifetime Women’s Network).br /br /Most of the problem is the offense, last seen on a milk carton with an 1-800 number below it’s picture.nbsp; One hundred ninety-one yards in total offense, including the world’s largest collection of four yard turn out patterns, two interceptions, and a questionable deep throw that turned over the ball on 4th and 5 with 29 seconds left.nbsp; br /br /The single longest Wake Forest run of the night was by the kid with the huge Wake Forest flag.nbsp; He made 60 on that one, 40 going back.nbsp; I timed him.nbsp; Eighteen seconds total over 100 yards.nbsp; Now, this is probably just residual ill will from the losing effort, but I expect more at the college level.br /br /That kid should have made the run in 14 seconds.nbsp; Heck, in the SEC, they have kids who can run the 100 with a 15 foot flag in 9.7 seconds.nbsp; Sure, there are steroids involved, and the kid already has three b amp; e convictions, but that is what big time college football is about.br /br /Oh yeah, the football game.nbsp; There were some impressive moments.nbsp; Like the Mark Herzlich highlight real.nbsp; Herzlich is a manster sort of linebacker for BC with a mohawk haircut, more face paint than Al Jolson, and the ability to leap short offensive tackles with a single bound.nbsp; Which he did, literally jumping over a Wake Forest lineman and picking off a Riley Skinner pass for the first touchdown of the game.br /br /At this point it was 13-0.nbsp; Then Boston College’s quarterback Chris Crane broke his collarbone.nbsp; His replacement, Dominique Davis, promptly rolled out and made the play of the game. Confronted with Wake’s Alphonso Smith, Davis did what any sensible person would do.nbsp; He attempted to fall to his knees and released the football, which Wake Forest ran in to make it 13-7.nbsp; br /br /Just before the half, the Deacons had the ball picked off again by Herzlich, setting up a field goal which made it 16-7.nbsp; In turn, this set upnbsp; the 105th consecutive Wake Forest band tribute to James Brown. nbsp; br /br /At this point, you had to figure no football player in America could get Wake back into the game.nbsp; Fortunately, Boston College had that player in Domique Davis.nbsp; On the first BC possession of the second half he fumbled his way into another Wake Forest touchdown, making it 16-14.br /br /The rest of the 3rd quarter was a punt, pass, and kick contest without the passing and kicking.nbsp; Then, the home team blocked a punt, setting up a one yard touchdown pass by Skinner and a 21-16 lead.nbsp; Victory was in sight.br /br /Then it wasn’t.br /br /Davis had spent most of the game, the parts he wasn’t fumbling, throwing passes with a crazy corkscrew flutter.nbsp; But with just over 2 minutes remaining, he threw a nice tight spiral to Rich Gunnell for 36 yards, followed it with a 21 yard laser beam to the 1, and snuck over with 1:21 left for a 24-21 after a two point conversion.br /br /Pessimists would have headed for the parking lot.nbsp; Lesser men would have turned their heads.nbsp; Being too cold, and too morbidly curious not to look away, I sat frozen as the last chance pass bounced away and BC headed home victorious.br /br /Disappointing?nbsp; Yes.nbsp; But I did get to see two T-38’s roar over during the pre-game flyover.nbsp; And there was a sideline reporter who reminded us all of why you should carry binoculars with you to football games.nbsp; And there was the Boston College sideline crew who nearly set their bench on fire with a portable heater, demonstrating once more how why we were able to hang in for four years during the War of Yankee Agression.br /br /It was the best of games.nbsp; It was the worst of games.br /br /But it was football, and some nights that has to be enough.br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /brbra href=”http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/Dudski/2008/11/22/View_From_The_34Boston_College_24_Wake_Forest#comments”4 Comments/a
October 14, 2008 at 5:52 pm · Filed under 1
For those of you keeping score at home:
QB-Tony Romo-broken pinky finger on throwing hand. Could return in as soon as four weeks, but will be unable to drink tea at formal events until at least cotillion season. Replacement will be Brad Johnson, formerly Joe Kapp’s backup with the Vikings. In a related note, Geritol stock up three eights at closing.
P-Mat McBriar-fractured bone on punting foot. Could miss rest of the season, depending on how Cowboys manage to fill roster, and whether he finds and physically harms Tony Curtis. Curtis is the Cowboy blocker who didn’t.
TE-Tony Curtis-in hiding at undisclosed location.
CB-Adam “Pacman” Jones-suspended indefinitely. Why? Because Roger Goodale just doesn’t like him.
RB-Felix Jones-Two weeks out with a hamstring injury. Cowboy officials claim to be unaware of expiration of six game, 30 carry warranty.
LB-Anthony Spencer-Hamstring. Has been working out on stationary bicycle. No date set for his return, but he should be ready for Cowboys 2009 Tour de France team.
CB-Terrence Newman-Out four to six weeks after surgery for a sports hernia. But don’t worry, the Cowboys still have… Oh, sorry, never mind.
S-Roy Williams-The good news: he will be back in the next two weeks. The bad news? You guessed it.
G-Kyle Kosier-Should return soon after a foot injury heals. Fortunately the injury will not impair his ability to turn and shout “look out”, a key part of the Cowboy line’s game plan against Arizona.
S-Keith Davis-Busted thumb. No word whether he will miss any time. After the game he was seen limping. Unclear how this relates to thumb injury. Possibly desparate cry for attention.
T-Flozell Adams-Shoulder. Lost feeling in his arm for a time and his shoulder was heavily wrapped. Ability to yell “look out” not impaired, so should play next week.
C-Andre Gurode-ankle. Played every snap after reporting ankle injury previous week. Failing to live up to his injury potential.
S-Pat Watkins-neck. Team says his lack of contact over the past two weeks means he should be ready for the Cardinals. Implication unclear.
WR-Sam Hurd-ankle. Out for season after reinjuring ankle. Cowboys trade 1st, 3rd, and 6th round picks to Detroit for Roy Williams and encourage WR Isiah Stanback to not purchase home in Dallas. Move should not impact offense, but does fufill Jerry Jones dream to acquire every player named Roy Williams in NFL.
Other injuries, not yet reported by the team.
Owner-Jerry Jones-Bitten by land shark which knocked on door of Jones’ office with candy gram.
Squeeze-Jessica Simpson. Listed as probable for next week’s game. Has not adjusted to Brad Johnson, calling him Mr. Johnson and occasionally “dad”. Publicists are evaluating Romo’s injury, the length of time out of the news, to determine if Simpson-Romo relationship remains viable.
Coach-Wade Phillips. Sleep disorder. Appeared to briefly wake up during loss to Arizona.
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October 5, 2008 at 10:55 am · Filed under 1
The Chicago Cubs today announced they have granted an unconditional release to their fans. The move was made Saturday after the Chicago 3-0 playoff series loss to the Los Angeles Dodgers.
A spokesman for the team said the Cubs inability to reach the World Series has nothing to do with the organization. "We constantly change out players, but the fans remain. It’s the fans. It’s always been the fans. We’ve skated around this, tried to blame it on a goat, even used the lovable loser image to our advantage in seasons we put bad product on the field. The bottom line is, our fans are cursed, not the Cubs. Put this team in any other town, with any other group of fans, and we’re a lock to win it all."
Historians, psychologists, writers, and bartenders have been studying the so-called curse for the team since last October. Their conclusion-losing clings to Cub fans like the smell of flat beer.
It’s historical. The name Chicago is a French pronunciation of the Native-American name, Shikaakwa, which literally means "striped skunk". Chicago has endured a massacre of early settlers, a cow attempting to burn the town down, the Haymarket Riots, Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre, and the Daley family. Researchers strongly believe the first nuclear reaction on US soil in 1942 was an attempt by Cubs fan Enrico Fermi to blow up Wrigley Field.
The Cubs move carries little risk. TV revenue is so great the team would make enormous profits even with no fans in the stands. Sales of Ron Santo Cubs jerseys this season alone were greater than the gate receipts of the Pittsburgh Pirates.
The team hopes to gradually replace old fans with younger, wealthier, new fans. "Our demographic surveys show the typical Cub fan is a 37 year old white male with a beer gut who hasn’t shaved in four days", said a marketing director with the team. "We can and will do better. The Yankees model of driving up ticket prices to a level where only yuppie business executives can afford to attend is one we hope to emulate."
Season ticket renewal requests will not be honored next season, with only new applications being filled. Game day ticket sales will be screened to ensure existing Cubs fans are stopped at the gate. Ushers dressed as Steve Bartman will stand at ticket booths, and only fans who don’t attack them will be allowed in. In addition, beer sales will be banned in June, July, and August which should keep 97% of Cub fans away.
Wa Samata Yu, a psychologist employed by the team, believes getting rid of the existing fan base is essential for the team to make the World Series. "Expectation is a powerful thing. Cub fans expect to lose and communicate this to the team. Talk about a curse enough and it becomes real in the mind. Anyone who has watched Andy Griffith reruns knows this. Unfortunately, Lou Pinella, is no Sheriff Taylor and Chicagoans are much more gullible than the residents of Mayberry."
Ozzie Guillen, manager of the crosstown WhiteSox, said he was sorry there would not be a Cubs-WhiteSox World Series matchup. He welcomed the waived Cubs fans to try out to become WhiteSox supporters, but said he would make no promises. "Some of these people, they say things without thinking."
So ends another season of disappointment in Chicago. In a world turned upside down, it is comforting to know some things will never change.
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September 30, 2008 at 8:15 pm · Filed under 1
Somebody needs to cover this and the NFL is no help at all.
Every week we see players strut for no apparent reason. And it’s getting embarrassing.
But think about it from the player’s point of view. You are new to the league. The coaching staff hasn’t covered strutting. Your team mates taped you to a goal post in training camp. Officials don’t signal a strutting opportunity. You have split seconds on national TV to make up your mind.
To dance or not to dance, that is the question.
As a public service, here are some guidelines.
A two yard loss on first down in the first quarter.
No strut. As a general rule, strutting in the first quarter or even on an early down is not considered socially acceptable. It would be like going to a party and hitting on the host’s wife within a minute of arriving.
Taking down a 30 year old running back behind the line of scrimmage, a.k.a. the "Eddie George" rule.
Who can forget Eddie George’s one season with Dallas. He was so slow he would pack lunch before heading for the line of scrimmage. Yet tacklers persisted in jumping up after stumbling onto him three yards behind the line, acting like they just brought down LaDainian Tomlinson on fourth and goal at the one.
Third down.
A change of possession is generally a cause for celebration, but only on a solo tackle. You must always take care not to claim another man’s strut. This can also result in a two man strut which, from a distance, may appear to be two large men dancing together. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Any play by a nose tackle.
The purpose of a nose tackle is to occupy as much space as possible and hopefully create an obstacle runners will stumble over. In that sense, a nose tackle is much like lawn furniture with numbers painted on it. Since most plays by nose tackles are accidents, they should not strut for aesthetic reasons.
On a more practical note, the hideous physical state of most nose tackles provides a medical reason to avoid strutting. If a nose tackle struts, large amounts of gelatinous body tissue can begin moving in waves, resulting in a strange oscillating effect which may cause a sports hernia.
Ex-post burnous.
Once a defensive back has been burned for a long touchdown, it is no longer acceptable for him to strut, regardless of what he subsequently achieves during the game. Just as it would not do for a receiver to pull a packet of mustard out, spread it on the ball and offer to feed it to the cornerback after a deep pass, neither would it be appropriate for the defender to subsequently employ a strut.
A vicious hit to a player in an exposed position.
Almost always appropriate. Twenty years ago it would be considered bad manners to rejoice after making another player taste his own spleen. But what were once vices are now habits, and not strutting while the player lies injured on the field would show disrespect for our current social conventions.
Except when the other player is badly injured.
In which case the defensive player should not be seen on the sidelines texting his agent to post the video on YouTube.
White players.
There is no reason white running backs and wide receivers cannot strut.
Quarterbacks and kickers.
Players with the upper body strength of a Hilton sister should avoid strutting at all cost, as the logical response by defensive players will be to inflict grievous bodily harm. Kickers may, on game winning kicks only, pump their arms in jubilation, but for no more than 2.4 seconds.
Coaches may not strut.
The one exception to the rule is Bill Belichick, who struts while inhaling and on days of the week ending in the letter "Y". However, it is hoped he will be cured on this affliction now that Tom Brady is not on the field on Sundays in Foxboro.
Referees may strut.
This is the Ed Hoculi exemption. It makes about as much sense as blowing your whistle during an obvious fumble late in a key division game. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
And finally, the one strutting rule that, if violated will result in a lifetime ban.
The long snapper must never, ever, strut. This will result in immediate expulsion from the NFL. Since most long snappers are only one waiver transaction removed from restocking vending machines for a living, there has never been a need for this rule to be enforced.
The preceding has been brought to you by the Terrell Owens Center For The Research Of Societal Customs.
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